- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Disclaimer: Please don’t bash me with comments like “You’re being selfish or ungrateful” if that’s how you feel… but if you think that I’m being overly emotional, I could stand to hear it… or if you think my feeling are justified. It would be nice to have a little outside perspective without any harsh words because whether or not I SHOULD be, I’m definitely emotional over this right now.
Here’s the quick story – my close friend (former college classmate and roommate for a few years after) just bailed out of attending my wedding. She would have been traveling about a total of 5 hours by plane to attend. She was supposed to come with her bf but her bf’s mom broke her ankle and he wants to stay there to help her (I understand his reasoning).
My friend decided she does not want to come alone. To try and offer a solution, I reminded her that she will know a lot of other people from where we went to school at the wedding – nice, fun people that have all partied/hung out together before. Plus she knows all my family. I also invited her to stay with me, my fiance, and other family/friends for the few days prior to the wedding as well as offered to have her come to the rehearsal dinner so that she is spending the least amount of time possible alone. She would have had her own room in the house to try and make it as comfortable for her as possible. Plus there are also hotels in the area if she so chose.
But, she kept saying “I feel like I’ve exhausted all my options and I just wont be able to make it”. Really, I feel like she just doesn’t want to come because it’s not the ideal situation for her. I can understand it’s not as fun to travel by yourself. ANd, maybe it’s more akward to stay at someone else’s house, but if you really cared enough to want to be at a friends wedding – one you already purchased plane tickets for and made hotel reservations for and have been planning on for months, supposedly because you really want to be there – you would make it work.
I know I’ve bent over backward to make friend’s weddings before – traveled by myself, stayed in seedy hotels by myself. etc. because it was important to me. So I guess I’m feeling like she just doesn’t care enough to WANT to make it work. But, just because I would go out of my way, doesn’t mean I should expect that she should too?
I’m trying really hard to understand her side of the story and to not be upset/angry… but I am. I can’t help it. She is someone I would consider one of my closest friends. To have her bail out so close to the wedding because “my boyfriends mom broke her ankle” just seems like a cop out. I thought I offered her a good solution to come spend time with me before the wedding. During the rehearsal, and even while the bridal party is getting ready. So, the fact that she thinks she has no options makes me feel like she doesn’t care as much as I thought she did.
Do I need to try and remove the bridal emotions and understand her side better? Or would you also be upset in this situation? I received the last email from her saying she would be unable to attend, and I don’t know how to respond at this point…