Post # 1
He propsed about three years ago and said to me 6 months after I can’t do it I will divorce you in a year? What! Then from then on in its been difficult. I feel like I bend over backwards and get nothing in return. This is really upsetting my qoute is “good enough to have children but not marriage”? my mother did warn me but I never listen. I feel like walking?
Post # 2
Oh no!…I am sorry you are going thru this. I will say if it were me as much as I hated it I would of walked. Everyone deserves to have the relationship they want. Marriage is very important and since he doesn’t value your feelings on it he is not valuing you. And you don’t deserve that, after 8 years and 2 kids it seems like he is waiting for something better to come along, and that is BS. I would give him an ultimatum and if he feels you aren’t worth it then go tell him to kick rocks! Remember a woman never settles for less than she deserves.
Post # 3
Obviously it’s difficult, given that you have children, but I would start making movements, so that if you decide to leave, you can. As in, get some money saved up, pop online to look for house rentals, look into what would happen with the kids. I know you’ve probably thought about leaving a hundred times, but have ended up talking yourself out of it, because of all the obstructions. So clear them, and then see how you feel! Good luck xxxx
Post # 4
claire.wallace.397: First let me say I am really sorry to hear what your going through, and having kids in the equation definitely doesnt make the situation any easier?
Did he give you any further insight as to why he said he would divorce you within a year? Have you all maybe tried counseling to find out why it is he may be afraid to commit? There could possibly be deeper issues that you may not be aware of which could be driving him to behave this way.
Whether you go or stay is a personal decision you have to make. I dont think that if marriage is that important to you that you should automatically give that up. But at the same time, if you are happy and you all live pretty much as man and wife and the only thing missing is that piece of paper, then you need to determine if being married and that piece of paper is a deal-breaker. If it is, then you may need to walk-away.
I hope you all are able to talk this out, and maybe he can get a better understanding of the severity of the situation in your eyes. He may not recognize just how important marriage is to you. All the best!