Post # 1
I am having a super duper small bridal party, only one MOH and a Best Woman on the groom’s side (best friend is a girl). Our wedding is in a large church, and semi-formalish, but we aren’t having ushers. But in some Kate Middleton like twist, we are having all seven of our nieces and nephews in the wedding. Only my oldest niece (4, FG) and my FI’s oldest nephew (9, RB) will actually have jobs, the rest will just be dressed alike and will walk with their grandmothers down the aisle. They are all too little and the aisle is really long, so they will probably get carried. I want to include them all becuase its important to their mothers and fathers that they are included and it will be a cute picture, plus we adore all of them and are close to all 7 of them.
The issue is my little cousin. She just turned 9, and hasn’t had a chance to be a flower girl yet. Her mother mentioned to me that she was hoping I would ask her. My FI really doesn’t want to include her, because he thinks we already have way too many kids and we really want the bridal party to only be people we are super super close to (hence not having BM and GM). I am trying to come up with a good job for her. I was thinking maybe she could hold my bouquet during the ceremony instead of my MOH, or maybe hand out programs?
Any ideas? I don’t want to hurt her feelings but we really aren’t that close and I get where FI is coming from.
Post # 3
I don’t think you’re obligated to include her in your wedding, especially if you’re not very close. I second the programs, or the guestbook idea.
Post # 4
why not get a wagon..have the 9 yr old pull a few of the lil ones down so they wont have to be carried?
Post # 5
I kind of see programs/guest book as consolation prizes, and a 9 year old might not want to do either of those things, or might be too shy to ask grown ups to take programs or sign a book.
If you really want her, you should ask her, since she is your neice. If you do not, then just be sure to give her an extra hug on the wedding day, or maybe let her keep your bouquet, or give her a flower from it to wear in her hair during the reception.
Post # 6
i guess it depends on how mature and confident she is. i think handing out programs is a suitable job for a 9 year old. some 9 year olds that i know are very articulate. if that’s the case, maybe she can read a poem. you don’t have to include her but if you do, play to her strengths and abilities.
Post # 7
She is from LA, gorgeous, tall, and is probably more confident and well-spoken then most 25 year olds I know. I thought about asking her to do a reading instead, and just add another one. Her brother is 14, I could have them hand out programs together and then walk down the aisle together before everyone else.
I think part of the problem is that is is a consolation prize, I hadn’t even thought about it until her mother said something since she is my cousin, not one of my nieces and nephews.