Post # 1
Have you caught FI/SO/HUBBY self pleasuring? If so how did you handle it?
I just had this conversation from a friend, who told her Boyfriend or Best Friend that it is not allowed if she is home, weather she is sleeping or not. Same goes for her, if he is home, its a no go for self pleasure.
I know my H has when I am home, well cause I have been coming up the stairs and he has said, hold on a sec I am busy or I’ll be done in a sec
Post # 3
FI’s a grown up, he can do whatever he wants with his body (within reason). I have “caught” him before but it’s no big deal. The only time he ever really does it is at night, if I’m not in the mood and I think he normally assumes I’m sleeping when he goes at it.
Post # 4
@UpstateCait: “FI’s a grown up, he can do whatever he wants with his body (within reason)”
Post # 5
@UpstateCait: yeah I am not threatened by it either. I found it strange that she made that rule but she said the reason she did is so that if he was in the mood and she was home then they could enjoy eachoter rather than just self pleasure. kinda makes sense to me. I know hubby does it to fall asleep if i am not in the mood and usually i think he is under the impression i am sleeping and doesn’t think I know
Post # 6
@wbrn: Personally, I think it’s pretty effed up & controlling to try and tell your partner when they can and can’t jack it. I would assume if they were both home together he would try and initiate something with her first anyway. So… if she’s not in the mood then what, he’s got to tell it to go down? That’s just weird to me.
Post # 7
@UpstateCait: agreed. I wouldn’t ‘handle it’! I don’t mind that he masturbates. He’s a grown man….not my 16 year old son!
Post # 8
There’s nothing wrong with it. I see it as a completely different thing from sex. Sex is about the needs of two people and intimacy, there is a lot more that can “go wrong” and so it requires higher concentration. Self pleasure can just be a release, a relaxing thing just between you and yourself, it needs no real thought process.
It only becomes a problem when it increases and sex drive decreases.
Post # 9
I’m curious as to who “scolds” their SO/FI/DH’s for this?
Post # 10
When he does it when I’m not there, I feel left out. BUT. I do it when he’s not here as well. 🙂 It’s just more fun when we do it together (and yes, I mean masturbate together, which normally ends in sex). He was doing that LONG before I met him, lol.
Post # 11
I said Yes and it doesn’t bother me, but I’ve never caught him in the act, we just have open communication about it.
Post # 12
I can’t imagine scolding my Darling Husband for this. It’s his body for goodness sake. I don’t “own” him and his body. Actually I enjoy watching him pleasure himself sometimes 😉 He’d rather me do it so he doesn’t do it without me but I’ll do it without him sometimes (usually during period time).
Post # 13
I’d rather my husband not do that if i was home… i wouldn’t care but if i knew then i’d be like “umm hello? we could have had sex or i could have just done something for you”.
i’m not saying i’d tell him not to do it… and i never would because i know he wouldn’t if i was home… he’d come looking for me instead
Post # 14
Well, I voted no because I haven’t caught him at it (though he does play a lot of pocket pool on the couch watching t.v:) but I was very surprised when he let drop recently that he still pleasures himself fairly often. We have sex every single day so I thought he would have lost a little interest in his own hand. Lol but he told me that he just liked it, so he does it. As long as he has plenty for me, I guess I don’t mind:)
Post # 15
I’ve never “caught him,” but it wouldn’t bother me. Making rules about it is just… creepy to me.
Post # 16
It doesn’t bother me when he does. Often times it is when I am sleeping and I can’t help him out. 😉