- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I found out over the weekend that one of my very best friends is preggers, after a year of trying and heartbreak, she finally had IVF and it took. She told me on Saturday she was 6 weeks along. There were tears and squeeeing and hugs, it was wonderful.
On Sunday, her sister posted it on facebook, tagging my friend and in her husband. I could tell from the responses that a LOT of both of their friends were finding out about the pregnancy via this FB post, even a few cousins, and coworkers. Selfishly, I thought, thank goodness we hung out on Saturday, because if I found out this way, I’d have been pretty hurt. Unselfishly, I thought of all the friends and relatives who posted “omg so happy for you!” but were probably wondering why they were finding out on a facebook post from the future parents’ sister/SIL. And then there’s the added issue of her only being 6 weeks AND being high risk, and EVERYONE knows, close friends, acquaintances, etc. I can’t imagine anything more horrible than if anything were to happen, dealing with 800 people thinking you are pregnant… AND there’s the issue of her coworkers finding out before she had a chance to announce it – not cool for so many reasons. They both handled it well, probably better than I would have. They were suprised and annoyed but the ship had already sailed and they’re too excited right now to be too angry.
Then I saw this post:
and this, from a few days ago:
and then there was the friend of mine from high school who posted a weekly wedding status update complete with links to her website and registry, for the 600+ friends of hers to see, when she only had 100 people at her wedding.
and there was another post about a Bee feeling uncomfortable because one of her FB friends regularly posted pictures of her children in which their genitalia was visible.
The oversharing ranges from having potentially huge consequences to being a minor tacky/annoying thing, but where is the basic common sense/awareness??
You don’t get to announce pregnancies or illnesses for other people. Even “thoughts and prayers are with ____” posts are completely inappropriate unless you were explicitly given permission to share with the public that something is wrong. You don’t post pictures of other people’s children without asking. You don’t post pictures of your own children naked unless you have your privacy setting so that only your closest friends and family can see them. You don’t post your wedding registry, especially not every week. If you want to tell people you are TTC, thats your business, but hopefully you realize you’re raising eyebrows, and that kind of thing is Too Much Information for a lot of people?
Should Facebook Etiquette 101 be required in 6th grade or something? Or a “Privacy and Boundaries” lesson be added in to health class curriculums? Would that even help? Who knows… maybe there should be a pop-up whenever you post a status “Are you SURE you want to post this?” 😛