Post # 1
I swear.. this wedding has made me really realize that my family is a bunch of idiots and only are concerned about themselves.. We ask for help, and everyone is too “busy,” but then when I mention about my sister n law or a couple friends helping, I get the “why didn’t you ask me for help or I told you I would help” guilt trip. They came after me about ONE, ONE person that I invited.. there’s over 200 people invited and I got s*** for ONE person.. I finally put my foot down and said I wasn’t un-inviting her, because honestly, she’s been there WAY more for me through all of this, than ANYONE in my family has.. they have nothing nice to say about the wedding, they try to act like they care when I’m around.. but hello, I can tell when you’re faking emotions.. I’m not stupid.. my parents are seriously struggling right now, so we asked my grandparents and a couple aunts for just a small donation, even in lue of gifts, we’re talking $10-20, for help towards our pictures.. and everyone “doesn’t have it” which I understand.. but don’t say that, then talk about all these dinners n such and gloat about things.. it’s just irritating.. my parents bend over backwards to help my family when they’re in need.. my parents have saved my aunts n uncles more times than I could even count, but not ONE person will even bother to help with anything.. I’m just over it.. my family comes after me about things with this wedding, but can’t bother to actually help with anything.. and I’m not just meaning money.. I’m meaning the hours I spent fixing centerpieces, ideas for things.. simple things like that, that require NO money at all…
and don’t even get my started on our stupid bridal party.. I’m only 3 weeks out, and ready to just say forget it, and fly FAR away, and just take df, my brothers, parents, his parents, his sisters, my sister n law & niece, and get married..
Weddings definitely prove to you how true people really are.. after the wedding.. I USED to be close to my family.. like SUPER close.. I used to see almost all of my family, at least 3-4 days a week.. well now.. I could care less if I saw them 3-4 times a YEAR.. and that’s horrible cause the way I was raised.. I’m just sick of bending over backwards for people who could give 2 s***s about me..
Post # 3
I am sorry you are having a rough time with your family. Though I am a little confused. If you cant afford a photographer without donations from the family why/how are you having a 200 person wedding?
Post # 4
@Future Mrs. W: We can afford it.. My parents just had some stuff come up in the last couple of months so it’s been a little tough. We can afford it, but just won’t have anything extra like we had originally planned.. and df’s grandfather originally said he would pay for it when we booked it, but then is saying now, he doesn’t know.. so it’s extra money we weren’t really planning on paying.. if that makes sense..
Post # 5
Oh ok! Sorry that just wasnt making sense to me. I hope everything works out for you! Just try and not stress and surround yourseld with the people who care and are there for you. Just a few more weeks until you and your FI get to celebrate your love for each other. Thats all that really matters.
Post # 6
@Future Mrs. W: Yeah.. that’s what my plan is.. my family is just huge, so it’s hard to be in a place, like a wedding, and avoid them like I want to.. I would rather them not even be there at this point.. that’s horrible to say, but a wedding is supposed to be a happy time, but they’re making me feel so much more stressed and just bringing my excitement to nothing because they can’t even be happy for me.. it’s not like my fiance is a horrible person.. they all love him.. so idk what their stupid deal is
Post # 7
I felt sorry for you until it got here:
we’re talking $10-20, for help towards our pictures.. and everyone “doesn’t have it” which I understand.. but don’t say that, then talk about all these dinners n such and gloat about things..
Maybe they’re saying they don’t have it because they see it as rude that you’re asking for this money. Yes, even if it’s family, it will rub people the wrong way. They are not obligated to help you pay for your wedding…or to feel guilty about having dinners out…or to help you with DIY projects, etc. etc. Neither is your bridal party.
FI and I got engaged in Sept. 2012. We are paying for the wedding. We had to postpone because different stuff came up. Nobody is helping me with anything, no centerpieces, decor, etc. You and your FI are adults. Plan and execute your wedding.
If it’s too much:
change the date
slash the guest list
don’t get things that are outside your budget
or just elope
Post # 9
dang that’s kinda harsh. shit happens and when you already have contracts or set plans to have something, sometimes you have to ask for help. whether you get it or not is up to who you ask and what kind of relationship you have with them. i don’t see a problem with it in the situation that OP described.
i feel like you could have been talking about my (extended)family. my parents are constantly helping them out but when you ask them for a favor they balk and refuse. doesn’t make sense to me. my parents are not in a great financial situation but they are helping where they can.
i hope things work out for the best. remember that the day is about celebrating your new life with your husband. don’t let asshole family members ruin that for you.
Post # 10
@janetsnakehole: yeah.. we can’t do anything about the guest amount or day.. unless we want to lose all the money we already put in to it, which would be totally stupid since we’re having money issues.. my parents would have NEVER dreamed my dad was going to lose his job.. he works for the Post Office.. not like it’s a place that I would have ever thought would actually start closing down.. but anyways.. yeah.. my family is just.. grrrr… when you have someone who bends over backwards for you, even when they’re struggling themselves, at least be some what caring when they need the favor returned.. but who knows.. we’ve figured out some ways to maybe pay for everything.. it’ll all work out in the end.. I just don’t want anyone ruining that day for me or my fiance.. and honestly.. as much as I wish my family could be the grown ups they are, I really don’t believe they all will be that day :-/