Post # 1
I’ve noticed in all the wedding checklist websites that I’ve browsed through, not one has the consideration of a prenup on it. Hmmmm….wonder why that is? I’m a strong believer in them. A 41 yr old bride to be, I have to much to protect and no, I dont feel I’m just preparing for divorce; I’m preparing for marriage.
Post # 3
Ditto. We’re doing a prenup. I’m 36 and my fiancee is 39. Have you been researching it at all online? Any suggestions on what legal websites have good info. regarding prenups?
Post # 4
We’re 26 and 25 and we talked about a prenup. We decided not to do one because we don’t have anything to protect, but we did talk about it. I think every couple should at least discuss it.
Post # 5
I talked about it with him. We didn’t because we couldn’t get our act together in time (we were more concerned about me getting on his health plan), but we haven’t ruled out a postnup.
I don’t know why people don’t consider them. I think it’s less necessary if both parties are coming into the marriage more or less with the same financial background, but then again, my dad was a divorce attorney and he’s often talked about how people go crazy when they get divorced–he’s counseled many people that they would save THOUSANDS if they’d just let him draw up a settlement, and they always say the same thing, “I’d rather go into hoc paying you than give one red cent to HER/HIM.” I think people choose to think that’ll never be them or their spouse.
Post # 6
@pooks75: No suggestions. I know he’s looked at some places online, but I’m currently working w/an attorney on an unrelated matter. I may just seek his services for the prenup.
Post # 7
We’re older too. We both have 6 figure salaries, own individual property, have savings/retirement accounts at about the same amounts. So, we are entering the marriage on a fairly level playing field. At this point, I don’t see the need for a prenup.
I would if there was a big discrepancy in our income/assets. Now, it just seems like too much of a hassle.
Post # 8
@keniki: to answer your question, i think you don’t see them on the checklist of the average wedding website because this can be a hot topic and those websites/checklists are all about the happiness and joy of getting married and spending all your money on whatever is sponsoring the website, perhaps? i dont think “prenup” fits into that commercialism of weddings.
Post # 9
@keniki and @PurlpeUnicorn: PurpleUnicorn is right, the wedding magazine check lists focus only your wedding day rather than preparing you for married life. The checklists also do not feature things like combine your finances, discuss life and health insurance, set up savings/investment plans.
It seems some of the pre-marital courses certain churches require you to attend focus a lot more on preparing you for marriage rather than a wedding, issues discussed will include how to handle raising your kids, supporting eachother through difficult situations, how to deal with family conflict, how to make both your career and family goals work etc etc.
Post # 10
Whether people go ahead and get a prenup or not I think depend on two things: how equal/different your assets are and how informed you are about prenups. If you come from a background where prenups are not commonly used or you have someone (like a parent) telling you about the benefits you may never stop to think seriously about it.
Another aspect is the legal value, I live in England where prenups are not very common as they are of less legal standing and divorce settlements do not depend on prenups. Even if I married an American, where prenups are much more important, I imagine it wouldn’t really cross my mind as it’s not what I’m used to…
As for my partner and I, we’re both around 30 and even though we both have assets the value is of a similar value so we will not be doing a prenup.