Post # 1
So one of my bridesmaids has a gorgeous tattoo on her back. It is a bouquet of violets tied together with a pink ribbon. It is in honor of her mother and grandfather, both breast cancer survivors and in memory of her grandmother who died from the disease. It really is beautiful. It is also very large. At least as big as the palm of my hand. It is also located on her shoulder. My dilemma is that we are having a very formal, full mass Catholic ceremony and the tattoo is completely visible with the bridesmaids dresses. Is it totally horrible of me to ask her to cover it? I would by the tattoo make-up to cover it for her. Or do I need to just suck it up and let it go?
Post # 3
I’d love a comment on this as well… I have a bridesmaid with a tattoo that spans from shoulder to shoulder and nearly up to the base of her neck. I absolutely hate it and i want her to wear a bolero jacket.. however, I’ve been told this is unfair if I’m not requiring the others to wear one as well.
Would a cover kit work for something that large? I’ve heard you can also get them airbrushed, however, I don’t know where to find a place that offers that service. And is the airbrush as thin and washable as makeup, or will it last the whole day?
I’m thinking there is at least a few brides out there that have dealt with tattoo dilemmas who could provide a little insight!
Post # 4
You can also use theatre makeup. I have a few small tattoos, but mine are hard to see. I have a minor one on my shoulder, that I plan on covering for the wedding. I don’t think its un-fair, but helpful if you buy the supplies for them to cover it up.
If you go to a costume shop or dance supply store they sell a brand called Ben Nin ( I am not sure is that last part is the correct spelling) it’s a heavy duty theatre makeup that covers well.
Post # 5
I can understand your concern, but I, personally, would never ask a bridesmaid to cover up a part of their body. My fiance is heavily tattooed, and I’m trying to plan an outfit so that his tatts will be visible, because thats him, and thats that.
If I were you, and it were really an issue you wanted to do something about, then I would talk to her and see how she feels. She may not mind at all, as Im sure she knows full well the reactions people have to tattoos, though, she may feel the opposite way.
Do you think she will find your request to be offensive?
Maybe you could ask all of your bridesmaids to wear a bolero? There are lots of cute wares on etsy.com.
Post # 6
My friend tried some of that cover make-up for a tattoo, it didn’t work. The concern I have is if one feels strongly about a tattoo that is visible, one would pick a bridesmaid dress that would cover the tattoo.
Post # 7
I have used the tattoo cover up stuff and the theatre makeup. The theatre makeup works much better, just for work and other things I do in life I can’t always have a tattoo visible. Also on the tattoo issue I think it all depends on the bridesmaids. I have had friends who have asked us to cover our tattoos up, which we agree without a problem. For those that have the full back or sleeve, I don’t think its as much as a problem as a hassle. Since it would def. take some time in covering up. It works if you know what you are doing when it comes to covering them up.
Post # 8
Wow that’s a tough one. I can see not wanting to hurt her feelngs. Especially since this tatoo has real meaning to her. Yet I can also see how seeing it at a full Catholic mass might be inappropriate.
I think the easiest/least offensive solution would be to have the girls wear some kind of jacket or wrap for the ceremony. Granted that won’t fix the tatoo situation for the reception. But it sounds like it is mostly a concern with the ceremony.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
Will anyone be terribly offended if her tattoo is exposed? I don’t know much about Catholic traditions, but I say if it won’t bother anyone, especially the officiant, or other members of that church, then you should let her have it exposed.
If you do think it will offend someone, then I like the wrap idea much better than asking her to cover it with make-up. It’s less like you’re asking her to change who she is.
Post # 10
Personally, I wouldn’t ask her to cover up her tattoos.
One of my BM has a full arm sleeve and i am okay with it, despite the southern baptist wedding i am having.
I chose my BMs because they are my friends and bc of who they are as people. It is part of her personality, and one of the many reasons why I love her.
Post # 11
I am more worried about my fiance’s parents, who are very conservative, than anything else. I have a tattoo myself, but mine is on my lower back and they have never seent it!
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2018 - Majestic Colonial Resort, Punta Cana
As far as I know, it’s not against Catholic teachings to have a tattoo. That said, if your church is more conservative or if you and your families are, then actually you should all cover your shoulders inside the church. I probably wouldn’t single her out as it would not only create a strained moment but might also make her feel quite uncomfortable.
Post # 13
I say, don’t worry about anyone, including the church and just let your friend show off her tattoo. If you are really worried about modesty in the Catholic church, then really they shouldn’t be wearing anything strapless or shoulder showing anyway. Or, find a bolero for ALL the girls to wear so the one BM doesn’t feel like she stands out for a bad reason.
Post # 14
If you’re going to ask her to wear a bolero, you should ask all of your BMs to do so, just for the ceremony. They could take them off for the posed photos, since a tattoo on someone’s back would not be visible in those.
I don’t see why a tattoo would be offensive in the eyes of the church. I’m not religious anymore, but I was raised Catholic and was never told that tattoos in church were disrespectful or anything. I agree with the above commenter who said her FI has tattoos and "that’s him, so that’s that." The tattoo is part of who your BM is, and if you really felt strongly that her tattoo should not show, you probably should have chosen a BM dress accordingly. It’s your wedding — everyone will be looking at you, not at her.
Post # 15
If I were your bridesmaid, I’d be offended if you asked me to wear something that you weren’t asking everyone to wear just because of a tattoo.
Post # 16
For the record, the name of the brand of theatrical makeup is Ben Nye.
And as far as the "to cover up or not to cover up" dilemma, I think if it’s going to be something you’ll never hear the end of from your FILs, it might be worth taking action on (having BM dresses that would cover it or having a bolero or wrap). If you’ve already picked out the dresses and it’s a done deal, I’d be willing to bet that your BM would understand if you want her to cover it up – though I’d also be willing to bet that at least a little piece of her would be disappointed since her tattoo is a particularly meaningful tribute to several members of her family.