Post # 1
The venue we have chosen has a very very strict 150 person max. Right now we are at 165 people are being invited with no chance to move that down.
We have a lot of single people coming to the wedding and I dont’ want them to surprise me with a date we don’t have room for. And a few families at my sisters wedding added their teenage kids to the count even though they clearly weren’t invited according to the envelopes and no one had ever met them before. Its not even about me not wanting this to happen ( I dont’ but that’s not it…) IT CAN"T HAPPEN!
I’m making my own invites so I have time to change this but right now this is how it is. (It won’t be black and white on the actual invite…)
What do you think tacky or ok? Is there a better way to say it?
Post # 7
That’s what I’m doing… My mother thinks I’m crazy, but they are paying for it, so i pointed out to her that if I didn’t do it like that we’d have FH’s crazy cousins bring dates. Sorry, no dice.
Post # 8
Hmm, I voted "other", but I’m mostly on board with what Tanya123 said. I made my invites with the "___ seats have been reserved in your honor" wording, and changed it at the last minute. The only reason I changed it was I showed the invite file to my mom and she asked, "What happens if in a family of four the parents don’t plan to bring their children, or a single invited with a guest isn’t bringing a guest? Then you end up with empty seats you thought would be full." Her point is that although the number reserved is indicated, the number attending is not, because most people will check off the attending/not attending space rather than filling in a number.
Post # 9
Ugh, honestly, I have never been a fan of this approach – it just feels very in your face. I didn’t do this, and had no problems with people thinking more people were invited than actually were (and we used only outside envelopes, no inners). I would prefer to deal with it case by case.
That said, apparently in some circles people just don’t get it, so you have to use this kind of tactic – so if you think that is your guest list, I think your wording is good 🙂
Post # 10
Thank you so much for all of your imput! I’ve changed it a little bit….what do you think?
(another reason I think I need to do it this way is because a lot of babies are invited and some people might not know that they are or might not want to bring them…)
The idea of telling me the number of people coming was huge!!!! Thanks so much! I dont’ know why I didnt’ think of that!!!!
Post # 11
I’m doing the same type of thing. I don’t think its tacky at all- its basically telling the person this is how many people you can bring, that way they don’t show up with the extra people and there is no confusion. Anything that can lessen confusion for guests and reduce stress on the bride is good in my opinion
Post # 12
I think your wording is great, I’m doing the same thing as well. I don’t want to risk any confusion for my guests (nor do I want to pay for extra uninvited guests!) – the clearer it can be, the better IMO.
Post # 13
It is not tacky, I am doing the same thing simply because the invitations we chose do not come with an inner and outer envelope. I would have prefered the inner envelope to write the names of everyone invited. Because we cant do that, at least this way it takes the confusion out of if people are able to bring a date, if kids are invited, etc. My format is a PDF but it says
The courtesy of a reply is requested by June 1, 2009
We have reserved _____ seats in your honor
_____ Accepting with pleasure
_____ Declines with regret
Post # 14
I’m doing this on my RSVP cards. I don’t think my guests will be so clueless as to just bring someone who isn’t specifically invited and those who wanted to know about a plus one asked us personally, but I figure it can’t really hurt just in case =). We’re having a wedding in our hometown — about 80% of the guests will be from the area or in the area, and the remainder is our OOT family who have already confirmed they’d be coming so we’re expecting very few not attendings. In light of that we really can’t afford to have surprise guests showing up at the wedding and putting us over capacity.
Post # 15
I’m worried about this for our wedding also and was just thinking about this. I know it might be a pain, but what if you listed each guests name seperately on the RSVP with a box next to it for them to mark whether each person is attending. For example,
Bob Smith __ accepts ___ regrets
Susie Smith ___ accepts ___ regrets
To me it’s a little less in your face (but maybe that’s just me). This would also end any possibility that if Bob couldn’t attend Susie would invite her friend Sally in his place since clearly only those 2 are invited.
Post # 16
I agree "___ seats have been reserved in your honor" works better at the top of the form.
I’ve seen RSVP forms that in addition to the wording above have
M__________________ accepts with honor
M_________________________ declines with regret
so that you know exactly who is attending and who is declining.
Post # 17
We definitely wanted to put the number of reserved seats. Since I did my invitations i actually printed the number myself. Mostly were all "2".
We have reserved 2 seat(s) in your honor
___ Accepts with Pleasure
___ Declines with Regret
Post # 18
Honestly, I think the RSVP is challenging enough to for those who don’t know the etiquette, let alone with additional fill in the blanks. I think I would just deal with it on a case by case basis.
Post # 19
- Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club
Just wanted to put in one more vote for the "number of seats" thing. Ours will say, "___ seats have been reserved in your honor." I think the "in your honor" thing softens it a little.
My family has a long history of wedding crashing by distant relatives. I don’t want to be mean, but I do need to be up front and firm on this. We just can’t afford unexpected people!
Post # 20
We did the "__ of __ guest(s) will attend" and people responded to it pretty well. My friends who were previously married wanted to know why they didn’t think of that, as it saves a lot of angst.