- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
Regular bee undercover for reasons that will become apparent in a second here…
FI is very good friends with an ex girlfriend of his. They dated only briefly, and it was about 8 years ago, and they have more of a brother/sister relationship now that has never bothered me. They get dinner and hang out frequently just the two of them. She is also married. We went to their wedding. Its never been an issue at all, because they’ve never crossed a line – I didnt even know I had a line – until today.
I don’t feel close enough with her to ask her to be a bridesmaid, and FI wanted to stick to family only for his attendants. So we had asked her to do a reading for our wedding so that she’d have a role of honor.
But I think my not having a problem with their closeness has finally backfired.
SHE is trying to take the reins on planning his bachelor party.
Fortunately, I’m not the only one who doesn’t think this is kosher. FI’s good guy friend emailed me this morning and said “ummm…. who is this chick and WHY is she emailing me about (FIs) bachelor party?!?”
I said I should stay out of it, because his bachelor party is 100% his thing, but that I did not think FI would appreciate her planning it, and that I thought his brothers were looking forward to doing that, and someone needs to tell her its not her place. He agreed and said he’d try to handle it, but he wasn’t sure how to bring it up with her, since he doesn’t know her well at all. He said I should just talk to FI about it, but again, I don’t want to come off like I’m being bossy about his Bach party.
I’m thinking of telling his guy friend to write back saying something like “Hey, X, thanks for getting us guys all in touch. We’ll take it from here!”
Will that work? And what do I do if it doesn’t? I’m honestly shocked by this whole thing – she’s known him longer than I have, and she knows he hates surprises, and that he felt very strongly about having his brothers be the only “groomsmen”, letting them do their groomsman things. I also feel like she’s just pushed my okay-ness with their relationship one step too far here…
Any ideas? I am totally out of my element on this one!! I have several very close guy friends, but I would never EVER EVER EVER invite myself to their bachelor parties!!?!?!