Post # 1
I’ve been awake all of 15 minutes so far this morning.
And my mother calls me this morning and says:
“I decided that you need to learn to be more flexible about your guest list. So, since [my sister’s sister] isn’t coming, I called all your sisters and told them they could bring their children, since they should have been in your first set of invitations.”
They’re all on East coast time, so they get a damn head start! NOT fair!
Never mind that FI and I already had a big fight about there being kids from my side of the family, and not his (only the two kids in the ceremony. He didn’t want ANY kids, I wanted those two) And never mind that I’ve already fought with his family when I had to tell them all that if the name wasn’t on the invitation, they weren’t invited.
No, never mind that, because apparently when I fall asleep at night, my mother starts fixing things for me.
I’ve seen your guys’ advice to other bees–tell them there was a miscommunication, apologize, but reiterate that kids are not invited, but if she would have kept to what FI and I had agreed, I wouldn’t have to do this!
Post # 3
holy crap that is annoying. I’d make HER do the uninviting since she got you into this mess. good lord.
Post # 4
I’d demand that she call your sisters and tell them that she made a mistake.
Post # 5
Oh, I wish I could. No one makes my mother do anything.
She’d chide me for being inflexible. Tell me it’s “not that kind of wedding” like she did when I complained this morning.
She showed me a dress to buy–after my old one was a disaster yesterday. I told her it was for older women, and she said “Well, obviously. The older women are the only ones who care to write the reviews for it.”
In one week: no Dad, no dress, and a big fat invitation problem.
Post # 6
she should seriously respect yours and your FI’s decision. it isn’t like it just affects you. you made this choice as a team. she needs to stop being so damn controlling.
Post # 7
Oh my Gosh, that is some mess you are in. My fuse would blow! It’s time to set everyone straight. I would talk to your fiance, ask everyone to come over (if you are in the same city) and tell them what you and your fiance has decided. You don’t want any interferring because it is making too much stress and problems that shouldn’t be there. What your mom has done is very rude. Then I would call your sisters yourself because it sounds like your mom would do some back talking about you to them because you won’t go her way.
Post # 9
@MissBabeski: my fuse did blow. I ranted all around the house until the dog barked at me, presumably to shut me up. We’re not in the same city, they’re all on the East coast, and I’m on the West coast, so they all gang up on me during my 5 or so hours of sleep a night.
Is that paranoid? Probably a little bit, heh. But not today!
@Ms. Meowerson: That’s what FI said, “we can always go to Vegas!”
Post # 10
WOW! I dont even know where to start with this. First and formost as much as I love my mother and her opinion she was not involved in choosing the dress I am going to walk down the isle in. My dress is white with A LOT of RED. Now although this is starting to by a trend quite a few people in my family raised their eyebrows. 🙂 But I love it and thats what matters. No one else has to wear the dress and its my moment. My FH loves it. I took one look at it and just knew it was the dress I was meant to walk down the isle in. In my most honest opinion I think you should browse the wedding shops online find the ones that call to you, then go to the shop with the list to try on and see what you like on yourself. Once you have made a decision or at least have it down to a few favs then take the pics to family members if you would like their input and have them tell you which they like most out of YOUR list. Regarding the children at the wedding, if you do not want children at your wedding and your invitations say so then that should be the final decision, call your sisters and let them A. This is your wedding not your mothers B. The final decision to not have children at the wedding is final C. Your sorry for the call informing them differently. I would not say miscommunication because after all if these are your sisters then they are very well aware of how your mother is and know for a fact this was no “miscommunication”.
Post # 11
Yep, Vegas would be my first suggestion too. Go get hitched by Elvis and then tell her that she can call around (since she’s so good at that) and tell everyone the big wedding is off.
Sorry for your troubles, date twin :/
Post # 12
@HisEmpress: Well said. I would do a phone conference to tell them all at once
Post # 13
If no one can tell your mom anything, then unfortunately this is going to fall to you. Since these are your sisters though, I’m assuming you can just call them and say something like “You know how mom is. I’m so sorry, but she misunderstood- we really can’t have kids at the wedding” or some variation on that. THEN call your mom and let her know you’ve worked it out with your sisters, and the decision is final. If she gives you any more “it’s not that kind of wedding,” you remind her that it’s your wedding, so it’s up to you what kind of wedding it is. Sometimes the only way to deal with moms like this is to hit right back!
Post # 14
I am with Miss Taco Night!
What a crappy situation!!! Vegas sounds good LOL
Post # 15
I guess at least it’s your sister’s kids she invited. It should be a lot easier to tell your sisters that they can’t come than random people invited to the wedding. But wtf!
Post # 16
MY Gosh..Really!!!THe nerve of people. Whoose wedding is it? My goodness what a mess. I am so sorry. Just stay strong, bite the bullet and call those people up and tell them no children. Dont tell your FI yet, to start another argument. Just fix this on your own. Dont try to get your stubborn mother to do it.Because you wont know for sure that she did…Just do it yourself. ITs your wedding you and your FI decision. Stay strong girl…