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FBIL and his ex-wife did this after they got back from their destination wedding. I think they had a few months between the wedding and the reception. I don't know if they said anything about gifts or not because it happened before FI and I got back together.
Lovekiss,
Did you end up having the party (or are you?) This is pretty much what I am planning to do. Get married this fall, with a small wedding of just immediate family and 2 close friends and then next summer we are going to have 2 receptions, one in MI and one in NY. We couldn't afford to throw a huge party that would warrant so many people to travel so far, so we're doing this to make up for it.
My friend did get married here in Japan, where we live, and then had a BBQ reception back home with family and friends there. They did specify no gifts, but got some anyway.
I know I went to a friend's wedding and in Japan it's not uncommon to literally pay for your meal. When you do such things, I've been told that it's unneccesary to give a gift, since you're usually paying about $100 to go, but for my friends, I did give gifts as well. Even though they lived together before they were married, it was still the start of their lives together. I didn't give as much as I would have, since I already sort of have $100 and was a bit short, but a little something for them to start their lives together.
If you did/do end up doing it, I'd love to hear about it!
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Backstory: We had a small wedding. It was magical, and everything I ever dreamed of. I loved it, and I am glad that it is done. Married life, and having evenings free to do whatever we please, is fantastic!
My thought: In the process of getting married we have received such an outpouring of love and support from people who were not invited to the wedding, but wanted to shower us with love and generosity anyway. Obviously these people will receive very thoughtful thank you cards. But it makes me wonder.... how many people would have loved to have celebrated with us, given the opportunity to do so? How many people did we "leave out" when choosing to have a small wedding?
And all of this leads me here: I want to throw a PAR-TAY! I want to have a huge shindig with all of our people because they are so dang good to us. I want to thank them for being awesome by giving them an awesome night. I'm thinking no centerpieces, pit beef, homemade dessert bar, paper plates, BYOB, a rockin live band, bare feet on the dance floor, and laughing out butts off. Klassy... with a K.
Am I crazy for this? Has anyone else had a small wedding and then thrown a huge party a few months later? How did it work out? Did guests seem to feel like the big party was a consolation prize for not getting an invite to the wedding? Did you specify "no gifts"? I don't want this to look like a "gift grab" in any way, shape, or form. How far apart was your party from your wedding? We got married in early October, and I am thinking this party will be in early January, but maybe sooner (late November, if I can make it happen that quickly).