Post # 1
Hi Bees! I just joined after lurking for a long time. You guys are all so sweet and helpful I just had to finally make an account.
So here’s the thing. Me and my BF have been discussing getting engaged next year. We just started a 9 month LDR period while I finish my last year of grad school but we’re only about 100 miles apart. He has already graduated and has been working for a few years. We will be 24/25 when we get engaged and in our families this is on the younger side. Likewise, we have been looking at around 2.5 carat diamonds (round cut) as we both prefer bigger stones and can easily afford it. I would ideally like a round diamond set in a super delicate cushion halo. I have a size 7 finger, so not exactly tiny. Our families however are very modest with their jewelry with the largest engagement ring being about a carat.
Basically I am worried I will be judged for 1) being young and engaged and 2) having a large diamond. I feel like I will get a lot of snark from our families in a time where I will be over the moon happy and this is actually causing me a lot of anxiety even though the proposal would not be until next summer. Has anyone experienced this? What do you suggest? Any advice or thoughts would be helpful, and all opinions most welcome!
Post # 3
@theshannondee: It should be a non-issue if you can easily afford it. The problem comes along when people will make assumptions that graduate students would not have that kind of money lying around for jewelery. That’s unfortunate but people may think you either went into debt for it, or that maybe it is a CZ.
But, if you are prepared to buy it, I would say too bad for what eveyrone thinks, you know the truth!
Post # 4
i say go for it because alot of times you wont be getting a second ring. i am also a younger bride, already married and my ring is a 2.5 carats and on a size 5.
Post # 5
@theshannondee: I don’t think that age is to young to get engaged. And if you guys can afford that ring then DO IT! and show it off girl! Don’t start stressing over it now you have a year to go!
I wanted to add that my SO doesn’t have the ring yet ( as far as I know) and my SO’s best friends FI keeps saying things like “Browneyes, you should show him what you like because you don’t want to be walking around with some BIG diamond” but I don’t care what he gets me! I know she’s mad because she didn’t get the ring she wanted but thats no reason to ruin everything for everyone else! I just ignore her!
Post # 6
Meh I wouldnt sweat it, if you can afford it go ahead and get your diamond. The only thing I would suggest maybe as an option is that 2.5 carat is a big diamond by any standard and then when you add the halo you want its going to appear even larger (huge infact) so maybe if youre paranoid about people thinking its fake you could get a smaller diamond 1.75-2 carat then once you get the halo on it it wont appear so big and “fake” because it will still be big but not huge like a 2.5 with a halo would be…..
Post # 7
I am a young bride (according to your age standards), was engaged last July when I was 24 and my fiance bought me a 2.72 princess cut solitaire engagement ring. We have been together for over 10 years at this point and it was a long time coming. He paid for it in full and was easily able to afford it and has no debt from it (he paid cash). If that is what you guys love and want to have then do it! There will always be haters, judgers, and snarky remarks you just have to learn to let them roll off of your back. It will probably all be out of jealousy anyway. I should mention my fiance is also in grad school right now…it’s really none of anyones business whether you can afford it or not…even if you guys DID go into debt for it that’s nobody’s concern in the first place lol I know you guys will not be doing that, I am just making my point. OWN that rock! 🙂
Post # 8
Your family will probably have something to say about it, and people who know your age and student status will probably assume the stone in your ring is not a genuine diamond. If none of that bothers you then go for it. I personally think 2.5 carats is a bit much, but whatever floats your boat.
Post # 9
If you prefer a bigger diamond get it. I have a size 6 finger and thought the 2.5 ct was perfect. Sadly, it was not in my FI’s budget so I got something else that was. You have to do what is right for you and not care about what people think.
Post # 10
I dont think it’ll look insanely big on a size 7, and actually be quite proportionate, so maybe people wont really realize it’s upwards of 2.5 ct. You can always just say around 2ct if you want to downplay it.
Post # 11
At 24/25, you are adults, and don’t have to worry about what other people think. You aren’t marrying other people. You are marrying each other, and your opinions are the only ones that matter.
Although you are and will be young at the time of your engagement, you will find that no matter what your age, people WILL have opinions about everything you do. Might as well get used to it now and learn how to overlook and ignore it.
Post # 12
I don’t think 24/25 is very young. And I don’t think 2.5 ct is very big.
If you guys are finished with school, then I don’t see how you’re “too young.” And, if you can afford that ring without going into debt, then I don’t see how it’s “too big” for you.
As for your family responding to you being young, that’s up to you to stand up to them and tell them that you’re not too young, that you’re finished with school, that you know what you want and to just prove them wrong.
As for your family being snarky about you having a ring that’s “too big,” get what you want because you’ll be the one wearing it, not anyon else. If they have a rude comment to say about it, say that it’s not too big for you and that you love it and think it’s the perfect size and as long as your FI can afford it, you don’t see the problem with a ring that size.
I’m sure you’re just stressing out now about something that won’t happen for a year. Relax and enjoy this time in your life. Deal with any obstacles as they come – in a year from now, they might not even be obstacles!
Post # 13
As long as you can afford it without going into debt over it, go for it! I love big stones so I love my ring and wasn’t concerned about anyone’s opinions.
Post # 14
Thank you everyone. I agree that only my boyfriend and I can determine what is best for us and if others do not want to share in our happiness then we will cross that bridge when we come to it. I think I just feel so young and nervous about our families reactions as I am still in school and everything. And I will rock whatever diamond I get. Shoot I will be wearing it the rest of my life, we better pick out what we like. 🙂 Thanks for the support!!
Post # 15
Now matter how old you are, someone, somewhere will have an “issue” with something in your life. Its your job to turn it out. So rock your 2.5c or whatever the hell you please.
Post # 16
I say “go for it!”
If people are going to judge or have an unwelcome opinion, they’ll share it whether your ring is 2.5 carat or .25 carat and whether you’re 25 or 45.