Post # 1
I know my SO says it will happen soon and I know he’s been thinking at least about it and possibly planning but I still don’t have an exact timeline. All I know is that there is a good chance it will happen before the end of the year but not even certain about that.
I’m kind of sad and disappointed that it won’t happen on or close to my bday though (my bday is on Halloween). The reason why Im almost positive it won’t is because he hasnt planned anything special for that day and told me it’s up to me that we could do whatever I want to do if I want to have a happy hour with friends or just a dinner with him alone. Sigh…., it would have been nice to have it happen around that time. It’s so hard when you have all these expectations in your head as to when it might happen and you have let downs. Thanks for listening to the vent!
Post # 3
Awwww!!!! Don’t be sad – you at least know it’s coming and he has made some real steps, like getting the book! I think you’ve been doing great. Remember, just take it one day at a time and be happy that you found your forever person!
I know how you feel about it not happening on your birthday but maybe thinking that this might be your last birthday as a single lady will help? I don’t know. I’m imagining how it would be if it were my birthday and I think I would just be a general kind of cranky, so don’t really have any helpful advice on that front!
Post # 4
@biochic75: You’ll get there! I know it’s easier said than done, but just try not to drive yourself crazy thinking about it. At least you know he’s thinking about it! Just try to distract yourself with other things and get on the bee to vent! We’ll listen and we understand!
Post # 5
You need a fabulous Halloween costume immediately! Not only is it your birthday, but you deserve it for waiting so patiently. Find something great, line up a costume party somewhere and go win the contest! If you can’t get a ring you should at least get a trophy!
Post # 6
@Nona99: +1!!! There is this amazing woman from England who costom makes full length coats out of wool on Etsy and she is amazing! one of her coats would be perfect for halloween. She is called SpiralGypsy. check her out
Post # 7
It is so so so natural to feel how you’re feeling and your feelings are totally valid. That being said, you might wanna consider actively trying to direct your thoughts to something other than your expectations (fun birthday plans? halloween?) because in cases like this, your expectations are sometimes just chains weighing you down.
Let me tell you a story. Last Christmas, for some craaaaazy reason, I thought SO was gonna propose. It would have been way too soon but I had a gut feeling I could not ignore! He gave me my present way at the end of present-opening time. There it was, a little black jewelry box! And inside– earrings. These are my favorite earrings. I am literally wearing them now. Thank goodness I’m a good actor, because my heart was broken when I saw them. Only when I let go of my expectations did I feel immense love for him buying me jewelry and happiness that he has good taste. I learned my lesson: expectations can stop me from really living so I should not encourage them! Just my 2 cents 🙂
Post # 8
Thanks bees! All great and solid advice! I hardly ever get into dressing up so maybe I could get creative this year to get my mind off of it. Expectations can definately hurt. I do need to focus on the positives and just have a fun Halloween/bday celebration with my SO and friends. It’s a complete process and a day by day thing this waiting business. It has definately humbled me and taught me to be more patient though as time goes on!
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
Don’t worry! I got told recently that he bought the ring (yay!) but I won’t be seeing it at all this year! (boo!!!!!) 🙁
Post # 10
Agree with Nona99:
Dressing up for Hallowe’en is FABULOUS !!
I have lots of great “couples” memories from my dating life that revolve around this holiday. Cool if you can work out a costume theme that coordinates the two of you together (make it a project the two of you can work on / get into).
Even at our ages, Mr TTR (over 60) and I (over 50) have been known to get into the spirit(s) [double pun] and find a way to turn an otherwise blah October Weeknight into a FUN event (kids tend to love it when they ring the doorbell and find the two of us dressed up too)
Post # 11
I am in your exactly same boat! I don’t have a timeline, but pretty sure before the end of the year! We just gotta stay busy and know it is coming!
Post # 12
I just pm-ed you this, but I think everytime you feel down or feel like bringing it up you should do a silly dance. Very mature, I know, but it will definitely help you feel better!
Post # 13
Totally saw that. I love oppa gangnam style suggestion. Made me laugh out loud.
I can sort of do that dance too. SO already knows I’m odd so he wont think much of it.
Post # 14
@biochic75: ooh i’m in the same boat, girl… pretty sure it will happen before the end of the year but no clue when!! let’s just try and keep calm, yeah? will be hard, no doubt… xx
Post # 15
I know how you feel 🙁 I got all teary eyed today … you would think it would make a difference even though you KNOW its coming … well it doesn’t and we have no clue why he’s taking sooooo long … I hate when he says Soon ! … sorry
Post # 16
uggg! I just freaked out on the SO about bday stuff and then brought up feeling sad that we aren’t married and engaged yet and me being older. We ended up working it out but I wish I could push the reset button on today. I can’t take back the mentioning it and I’m trying so hard not too. Lame bday expectations! I’m going to try to learn not to expect anything on that day and just focus on what I’m grateful for and what I do have.
I hear ya. You think it would be easier knowing that it will happen but I’m struggling with the not knowing when part, not having a clue. I know it’s semi-soon in the future but soon to me is not the kind of “soon” he means. Soon means weeks to me and most likely months to him.
I will try to keep calm! I’m so frazzled now but I could get excited that there is a high possibility it will happen before the end of this year. I’m trying to change focus. Easier said than done! That’s cool that it could happen for you too by the end of the year.