(Closed) A boss who makes your cry

posted 6 years ago in Career
Post # 3
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@skyeatnight:   Oh, yeah, I have stories.  Once I quit a job after three weeks because the guy was such an ass, and he hit on me!  And he was married, I despised him, and I couldn’t take it.

Anyway.  Do you really need this job and are you planning to stay there?  If so, you are going to have to learn some tricks of dealing with difficult people.  And there are some tactics, and it can be fun, no lie. 

First of all, don’t cry at work.  Rule #1, haha!  Never, ever. 

Rule #2 – Realize right this minute  that you are ten times smarter and better than this asswipe.

Rule #3 – Keep your sense of humor at all times.

Here’s what to do:  You have to outsmart him.  Use your brains, your wit and your sense of humor.  Make it like a game.  You can get the best of this guy, seriously, you can.  Because he is used to being a bully and he likes being that way, it works for him.  Ok?  He isn’t going to change so don’t get it in your head about how he “should” or “should not” be.  He is who he is and he is your boss.  So, work his personality flaws to your advantage.

Do unexpected things.  For instance, instead of cry, laugh.  Or, instead of reacting negatively when he says something nasty – brighten up, smile and say, “Thank you!”  It will completely freak him out.  Be careful not to overdo it. 

Double up on the “Yes, sir’s” and do a flawless job.  Become indispensable to him.  And try to find something personal about him that you can talk to him about and be on his “side” about, like a sports team, whatever.  Kiss his ass, in other words, lol. 

Also, commiserate with him when he says negative things, as though you agree with him.  Ask his advice about something, take it, and compliment the hell out of him for “helping” you sssoooo much

Tell him things like how nice he looks in that suit or tie, whatever.  (Be careful not to make the guy fall in love with you, haha!  Don’t flirt, just make him feel like your “hero”).

You can put difficult people off guard if you behave in a way they’re not used to receiving, in a way that’s unexpected.  It will work, try it. 

The hardest thing is not throwing up when you do all this.   Wink

Post # 4
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Yes, I have stories… I have had things thrown at me, I’ve been belittled in front of clients, my boss allowed clients to sexually harass me in his presence without doing anything about it,  my boss made personal comments about my intellect and my family.

I quit.

I tried to beat him at his own game, but I think he was a sociopath and therefore I could never think the way he did. He was always one step ahead, because I still had normal human reactions and he could see it. When something didn’t work to break me down, he would try something else until he eventually got to me. No matter how much I tried, he eventually ruined my self esteem. If your boss is just a bully, stand up to him. But if he is a sociopath with no remorse who visibly enjoys hurting you, I would say leave before any more damage is done.

Post # 5
1360 posts
Bumble bee

Yep! My first boss ever at my first real job ever absolutely hated her employees. I was a waitress/hostess/cashier and I remember one night she got in my face and screamed at me that I wasn’t doing a good enough job and that I needed to suck it up and work harder. I had already been there 8 hours with NO break, on my feet the entire time (we weren’t allowed to sit, or take breaks unless we smoked. I didn’t smoke, so no break for me.) I also have low blood sugar and I passed out one night because I didn’t have a chance to drink any juice or even eat a sugar tablet. She then screamed at me (once I came to) about how I was not allowed to be unprofessional at the job. I was 16, it was my first job, and I was just doing it for a little extra cash.

She also let a guy sexually harass me without doing anything about it. Wouldn’t fire him, no matter what. He threatened me once, “I’m gonna get some tape, tie you to the bed, and then have my way with you, you little slut.” Yep. I went home SOBBING to my parents about how terrified I was, and they flipped their sh*t. Called the boss and told them this was unacceptable and I would NOT be reporting to work there, EVER again.

I went there to eat a few months back, and the boss was super nice to me and offered me a position. HAH! Nope, sorry, I work at a hospital now and my boss is super nice. No chance in hell!

Post # 6
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ugh a job at a fast food industry a long time ago, I was in high school. The boss was constantly on my case, I was the only one that spoke english so I would work both front and drive-thru registers at the same time. Mistakes would come up because I would be so overwhelmed. He would yell at me in front of customers and other co-workers because I was short $20 or I did not try to up-sell an order.

Yet, he would touch me inappropiately and ask me personal questions. Saying I have such nice white skin and blue eyes. It made me sick, he was married and he was old, I didn’t know what to do. I told him to stop repeatedly. I slapped him once (pretty hard too, it was probably more of a punch then a slap, it bruised…) He was stroking my shoulder and getting in my face, I saw red and lashed out without thinking… he threatened that he would fire me or call the police. He never did.

I would cry everytime I came home from work, but never told anyone about it.

A guy that was opening a Starbucks gave me his business card one day while I was working, saying I should come apply, that he loved the way I talked to the customers. This was right in front of my boss, I was terrified! I should have taken it, but I hesitated and just ended up quitting when the boss brought me flowers and a stuffed animal and saying that he loved me.


Post # 7
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

my last job was like that.   My boss was such a friggin’ a-hole.  He used to always yell at the staff and call us stupid and was very belittling.   I put up with it for 3 years then one day i went in early to open and he was nitpicking stupid things at me all morning, and then about an hour later he came up to me and i knew he was gonna go off on me…. i beat him to it.  I told him how much of an a-hole he was and how we work so hard for him and that if it wasn’t for us he wouldn’t be in business, and i just went on and on and on…. yelling of course.  Then i walked out and didn’t turn back. 

Ugh…. he’s such a d*ck

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