A bridesmaids duties on the day of the wedding

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: A bridesmaid...
    should be available to the bride the whole day and put the bride's needs above her own : (6 votes)
    13 %
    can take time to herself but should be available should the bride need it. : (23 votes)
    49 %
    should look after herself : (5 votes)
    11 %
    Other : (0 votes)
    I liked the support my BMs gave me : (8 votes)
    17 %
    I wished they had supported me more : (5 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    3777 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Voted wrong, meant to say “take time for herself but be available if the bride needs it.” While I don’t think a BM should be waiting on the bride hand and foot, I think they should be around for minor errands. Show up, stand by my side, and help me find a safety pin if I need one.

    Post # 4
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I say – can take time to themselves but should help the bride if she needs it.

    Are you her friend or what?   It doesn’t mean this gives the bride a passport to be a demanding bitch but give me a break – help the girl out if you can.   Otherwise..why did you sign up for it?   At least offer to help when needed on the wedding day itself.

    Post # 5
    1287 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My ONLY expectations are as follows:

    Show up – on time, with all the belongings she needs (from dress, to shoes, to undergarments), relax, have FUN, cooperate for pictures (ie, stay nearby), and dance…all night 🙂 (ok, not all night, but at least for a song or two with me!).

    My vote is to enjoy herself, and yet be available if/when needed, which is really not a whole lot – in my book anyways.

    Post # 6
    197 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I did not expect much of my bridesmaids, just show up, stand for the ceremony and have fun. They were great and would help me if needed without my asking, such as hold my bouquet, hold my train, get me something if I couldn’t myself for some reason. My MOH especially went above and beyond, but I loved all my girls and couldn’t have made it through the day so calmly without them. Their duties ended at the start of cocktail hour, but they still made themselves available throughout the night (came with me to help my change into my reception dress.) 

    If you expect more from them, ask but don’t boss them around. They’re your BMs but also honored guests at your wedding and I think people forget that. I feel the BMs will help the bride out because they love her, not because they feel obligated.

    Post # 7
    193 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I expect fuck all from mine. I’m not having a batchelorette party or anything after they informed me that they weren’t interested or prepared to help me organize one. It’s a really good job that I’m so laid back frankly. I don’t even like one of them but she’s my FSIL so shame for me.

    ETA: if I had my time again I wouldn’t have any BMs. They’re just an extra significant expense in my view! 

    Post # 8
    954 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    The bridesmaids/Bridesman I had, honestly, all I wanted them to do what show up, and have fun. So whatever that option is in the poll!

    Post # 9
    724 posts
    Busy bee

    I don’t expect anything from my bridal party. They should be able to enjoy my day as the extra special guests. As my dear friends, they’ll help out if I need something and generally make me happy just by being there, but they aren’t staff and they won’t have duties.

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