A "cheater" is…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: A cheater is...
    Someone who has cheated in the past, regardless of his/her present/future. : (105 votes)
    20 %
    Someone who is currently cheating on his/her partner. : (278 votes)
    53 %
    Someone who expresses (not necessarily acts on) attraction to others. : (32 votes)
    6 %
    Other : (16 votes)
    3 %
    Added: Someone who intervenes in a relationship (e.g. the mistress) : (90 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    381 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Can you add one more category? One of the more interesting conversations I saw on this forum was people who used the word “cheater” in reference to BOTH parties in an affair, even if one was single. To me, this seems incorrect, since the third person, while perhaps morally culpable, is not a cheater since they weren’t cheating on anyone, but there was some strong disagreement there, the argument being that perhaps they were cheating on a socially recognized contract, or that by enabling cheating they were in fact cheating themselves. I’d like to see if peope vote for that one. 

    Also you might want to make it so people can choose more than one option…I feel like many would agree with multiple answers here. 

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I chose other. I feel like, in my relationship at least, that cheating is doing anything that we couldn’t tell each other about. In other words, anything we have to keep secret in order to keep the relationship from falling apart.

    ETA: in this context I would say either party who is in charge of keeping the secrect of the affair/offensive action.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    4819 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    … is proven a repeat offender.

    Post # 7
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @aliavenue:  lol, I was typing my response as you posted yours.

    Post # 8
    Member
    8282 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I vote the person who is currently cheating. Definitely not the first choice, in my opinion. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    7997 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I guess it depends on your perspective.

    If you left your ex because he cheated on you, chances are you will refer to him as a “cheater” for the rest of your/his life.

    If you cheated on your high school boyfriend 20 years ago and have been married to another dude since, and never strayed, chances are you don’t consider yourself a “cheater”.

    I consider cheating to be engaging in intimate activities with someone who is not in your relationship. This could be physical or like an emotional affair. I don’t consider something like using porn to be cheating since it’s not with another person.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1506 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    To the people who are saying that a cheater is definitely not “Someone who has cheated in the past, regardless of his/her present/future,” is that because YOU were that cheater in the past and just don’t cheat anymore?

    Just wondering. Because to me, that is still a cheater. The door has been opened. The cheater may slip through the crack again in the future, whether they think they will not not.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2895 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I chose other because the time references are hard for me.  Time is hard to say, because if they cheated on the person they are currently with in the past, they are still a cheater unless they have revealed that to their partner and made an amends. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    6812 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Someone who is currently cheating OR someone who cheats often (on like every partner, etc). Therefore, you can be a reformed cheater lol

    Post # 14
    Member
    4540 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

    @canarydiamond:  I like your definition. But I’d also add that I think a cheater is an adult. If you cheated on someone when you were 16 and in high school, then I don’t think you should be classified a cheater. If you’re 23 and in an adult relationship, then yes. There are a lot of people who cheated in high school who would never, ever do something like that as an adult.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3077 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    i’m so coming back to this when im.on my laptop. typing on my phone sucksssss

    Post # 16
    Member
    1167 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Anyone who has/does/will cheat is a cheater.

    Being a cheater is a state you enter when you take that step, you can’t go back and not cheat, and you can’t just suddenly go from a cheater to not a cheater one day, because it became “too long ago”

     

    I don’t think expressing attraction to others is neccessarily cheating. Does that mean looking at a hot guy and apreciating his awesome body is cheating? Or is it more, “trying your luck” – Ive known people who do this often and don’t consider it cheating because they were turned down!

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