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a civil service and a wedding? help!

posted 4 years ago in Beehive
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    1.
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    KissingLillith    July 13th, 2008   San Diego (Carlsbad)

    i recently went back to an old job that i didn't like (i worked there for a year) and i start up in march. the whole reason i'm going back is because of the health benefits. i was under the impression he'd be able to get them too but aparently once i qualify, (april 1st), he won't be able too until a month after the wedding. so like 6 months from now! that really worries me he'd go that long without insurance and we really need to fix his teeth and he may need his tonsils remove because he's had trouble breating...

     

    we're gonna try and get him on medi-cal but if for some reason he doesn't qualify (we don't make much money, so hopefully!) i'm thinking of maybe doing a quick civil ceremony so he can get benefits right away and then have the wedding we've been planning for the past 6 months in july, as planned.

     

    my mom think's i'm nuts ("we never had health insurance blah blah") but what if something happened? like he got in a car accident or ANYTHING? we would be stuck paying hospital bills forever!!

     

    what would you do? :( 

    Attachments

    1. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img Underskirt.jpg (28.8 KB, 63 downloads) 3 years old
    2. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img Full_View.jpg (35.9 KB, 64 downloads) 3 years old
    3. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img Top_Buttons_Back_Open.jpg (22.5 KB, 63 downloads) 3 years old
    4. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img Amsale_Designer_Pic.jpg (18.9 KB, 75 downloads) 3 years old
     
    2.
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    CaliBrideToBe      

    I advise everyone not go a day without health insurance if you can avoid it. My FI didn't have health insurance for five years. Less than a month after finally getting insurance he got extremly ill and was diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease that required hospitilzation and surgery. If he hadn't have health insurance not only would we be very deeply in debt (the bills would have totaled 10s of thousands of dollars) but he would never be insurable again due to his now 'pre-existing' condition. We were SO lucky (and he's now doing totally fine.)

    Cases like ours are rare, but its better to be on the safe side.

     
    3.
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    cgeniew      

    I think its a smart thing to do for practical reasons.  Some friends of mine had a JP marry them last summer partially because of the health insurance issue.  They will have a reception sometime in the future as well.

    My FI and I might do something similar.  He is going into the USAF, and in order to get me into the system faster (and get cheap health insurance!) we might do a small ceremony a couple months earlier than originally planned.

    If both you and your FI are comfortable with the idea, I would go for it.  It would also give you more time to plan a reception as you would like it, whenever you want it to be.

     
    4.
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    rebecca    September 13, 2008  

    i was actually in your situation just a little bit ago, when my FI asked me to leave my job and move in with him across the country. maybe it was my upbringing, but my first question to him was "what about health insurance?!," to which he responded that he would marry me in a second for the benefits if that was the problem. so no, i don't think it's a big deal!

    it turned out that we didn't need to do this, as i found a job, but my parents didn't think we were so crazy (as health insurance is REALLY important to my family). i completely agree with calibridetobe -- going without health insurance is a scary thought.

    you might want to look into this though: http://www.assuranthealth.com/corp/ah/

    it's short term health insurance that you can get for up to a year. i used this company after i graduated from college, before my job's benefits kicked in.

     
    5.
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    Helper bee
    tberry      

    Go for it.  Insurance is really mportant for all fo the above reasons.  If you mom has issues just don't tell her.  Get married at city hall or werever your state allows (in PA you can marry yourselves and just have witnesses sign).  You don't have to psread the news you are now married or even exchange your rings.  The only person that needs to know is your benefits manager.  Since they handle confidential info anyway it is easy enough to swear them to secracy in the office.

     
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    suzanno    7/12/08   Richland, WA

    I think its a smart decision.  You are right - a bad accident or illness could bankrupt you pretty quickly.  I'm not sure what the laws are in CA - in Colorado, where I used to live, if you have been together 6 months you can declare yourselves domestic partners to your insurance company and add him to your insurance without the civil ceremony.  However, the civil ceremony can't hurt.  Lots of people have a quickie courthouse wedding for lots of reasons - and then have the big public celebration later.  Or, if you look back at the posts about Catholic weddings, you'll see that people are having small religeous ceremonies in private and then the big wedding ceremony. There are lots of people who think like your mom - but she's wrong. 

     
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    OnlySupernova    June 2008   Lexington, Kentucky

    I'd go for it for the insurance. It's so important that my FH and I delayed our wedding until one of us would be dropped from our parents' insurance anyway (we're both students). No one really has to know but you guys and your insurance agent, so I'd definitely suggest having the little service first.

     
    8.
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    Blushing bee
    MissBanana    March 2008   Boulder, CO

    Does your state have a domestic partner law?  My FI is on my insurance already (CO) and we aren't married yet. 

     
    9.
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    suzanno    7/12/08   Richland, WA

    Looks like in CA the definition of domestic partner is same sex, or opposite sex with one member over 62 yrs. 

    http://www.kinseylaw.com/clientserv2/famlawservices/domesticpartner/domesticpartnerdisso.html

    So not like CO at all, unfortunately.  Although another site I looked at indicated that the rules are different in different cities/counties.  I would ask your benefits person at work; they should know.

    Attachments

    1. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img dresspic2.jpg (26.2 KB, 113 downloads) 3 years old
    2. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img dresspic.jpg (29.1 KB, 142 downloads) 3 years old
     
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    EK    October 12, 2008   Seattle, WA

    A civil wedding is certainly one option.  Will it be free to add your fiance (then husband) to your insurance?  Otherwise, it might be just as easy for him to get private insurance.  Companies like Kaiser Permanente or Group Health are actually really affordable for young, healthy singles.  My old co-worker didn't want to pay our work rates for insurance, so she got Kaiser on her own for under $150/month.  If you're going to pay that much to add him onto your plan anyway, that's always an option.  Also, he could get catastrophic insurance (and dental if you want) only until after the wedding, and that may be even cheaper.  Just a thought.  It's worth looking into other options, but I agree, it's definitely not a good idea to go without insurance.

    Attachments

    1. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img a67d_1.JPG (11.2 KB, 85 downloads) 3 years old
    2. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img a25e_0.JPG (9 KB, 25 downloads) 3 years old
    3. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img 8aa0_1.JPG (13.6 KB, 65 downloads) 3 years old
    4. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img 9f28_1.JPG (12 KB, 68 downloads) 3 years old
     
    11.
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    misscordi       Ann Arbor, Michigan

    Serious illness is worth getting insurance, car accident is usually covered by your auto insurance (check) - its part of the liabilities that the state requires you to have - if you/someone else in your car/someone you hit needs healthcare because of a car accident, the insurance covers it.  (What can be attributed to the accident.)

    Attachments

    1. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img Dress_#2.jpg (4.7 KB, 70 downloads) 3 years old
    2. a civil service and a wedding? help! :  wedding Img Dress.jpg (38 KB, 70 downloads) 3 years old
     
    12.
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    Helper bee
    Anti-Zilla    Civil: 11-4-08 / Church: 8-8-09   Civil: Hawai'i / Church: Long Beach, CA

    Go For IT!!!!

    it wont make your already planned wedding less meaningful...  it's what protects the two of you until you say "i do" as you normally planned - not crazy at all!

     
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    suzanno    7/12/08   Richland, WA

    Most private dental won't actually pay for major work for up to a year after the policy starts - unlike your work dental, which will probably pay right away.  (That's how they keep you from waiting to get the policy until you actually need the root canal.)

    And you really, really want to check with your insurance provider before you rely on your auto insurance.  If your injuries are clearly from the accident, it pays - as misscordi says - although whether it pays up front or reimburses your expenses after review depends on the policy.  If you end up with back problems or something that could have a cause other than the accident, it can be a nightmare to get any money out of them. 

     

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