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A different kind of waiting

posted 2 years ago in Babies
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    1.
    Bee
    1,801 posts
    Buzzing bee
    bunny    July 3, 2009  

    I'm not waiting to get engaged, but I am waiting for Mr. Bunny to tell me he's ready to have kids. It's SO hard right now ... I feel like everyone we know is pregnant. That's not true, of course. It's mostly my online friends and a few people in town/relatives.

    We agreed when we got married that we wanted to wait 2-3 years to have kids, but I'd cave right now if he told me he was ready. I know in my head that now isn't the best time for us to have children (money, careers, etc.) I'm just finding it very difficult not to bug Mr. B about it daily. ARG!

    Anyone else in the same boat? Any tips on how to put off baby fever?

     
    2.
    Member
    377 posts
    Helper bee
    Abbee    October 1, 2011   Dayton, OH

    More cowbell?

    A different kind of waiting :  wedding Cowbell L

    LOL J/k.. I don't know how to put it off because as of right now, I'm thinking we will start a family as soon as possible after we get married.  By the time we get married we will have been together almost 6 1/2 years, and I think I'll have the "fever" by then.

     
    3.
    Member
    2,099 posts
    Buzzing bee
    caitlanc    September 12, 2009   Western Slope of Colorado

    We're in a similar boat.  We agreed on 5 years but I've got a pretty decent baby fever going on right now.  I thought it was just me until he mentioned that the thought of "what if it DID just happen right now" crossed his mind.  (Since I have an IUD we're not worried about it happening accidentally so I know it was more than a hypothetical pregnancy scare sort of thing.  He actually thought about pulling the goalie!) 

    All I can really do is remind myself of the practical reasons we want to wait.  I have always said that we would be very settled and financially comfortable.  I lived within 2 miles of the house that I was "born" in until I was 18 and have always wanted something similar for my kids.  Our careers aren't settled yet either and so we really don't have the money right now either.  Especially since I'm hoping to be a SAHM for the first couple years. 

    Of course, right about the time I get my hormones settled down he mentions that he can't wait to move into the house that we're buying so that we can settle down and start a family!  Gah!  Not nice!  I'm hoping that once we're actually in the house I can focus all the baby energy on nesting.  Hopefully that will help and not hurt!

     
    4.
    Hostess
    8,491 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    I'd imagine that's really hard, Bunny!  But the techniques must be similar to what the waiting bees are going through... Focus on things that make you happy and work towards your common goals that will put you in a good place for later on when you are both ready.

    Stay in great health, work out, save cash, pay the bills, fix up your place and plan for a future with babies.  I wish I had started my research for baby stuff sooner, since I really didn't have a clue until we were already knocked up.  My learning curve has been somewhat steep and panicked... but we are getting there.

    Oh, and just enjoy every moment together...  because it's going to go really fast!

     
    5.
    Member
    697 posts
    Busy bee
    sweetkate    August 29, 2009   San Jose, CA

    I was kinda in the same boat you are. Before we got married, whenever the subject was brought up we both were like oh, not for a couple years. So then last week DH asked me when we were going to start trying... so we might be trying in a few months!

    However, I have had baby fever for quite some time. But I knew that he wasn't ready yet. To pass the time I just kept myself busy with trying to make our apartment feel like a home and doing things I know we won't do (or not as often) once we have a baby. Like going out with friends, having nice dinners out, things like that. It's been rough because I have had so many coworkers and friends that have had or are having babies in the last year!

     
    6.
    2,195 posts
    Buzzing bee
    JoesWifey    May 24, 2009   NYC/Wedding in Indiana

    I am in EXACTLY the same boat! Seriously, I even wanted to make a thread with the same title lol I'm ready and I'm just waiting for the green light from hubby, but it will probably be another 2ish years. I know we have some other things we need to get in order, but that internal drive is just soooo strong. It's not a feeling I can describe. It doesn't help that I also know so many people having babies. I know one currently trying (and she got married a little after us), one pregnant, and another who will be trying right after her May 15th wedding. I do bug my husband about it probably more than he'd like, but oh well. Nothing really helps tbh. I do really enjoy reading about pregnancy and child birth and stuff and I'm just trying to absorb as much information as I can. I'd like to start working out and getting my body baby-ready, but I haven't quite made it there yet lol It's just so hard!

     
    7.
    Hostess
    7,921 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    Lillindy    September 2008   Bay Area, CA

    Bunny, I could have written those words exactly myself!  My little sister is about to poop out her second baby next month and I can't help feeling like, "Hey, she has 2 kids already, I'd like to have one myself!"  I've been married for about a year and a half so I'm feeling like the honeymoon is over and it would be great to start working on a family! :)

     
    8.
    Member
    2,525 posts
    Sugar bee
    daniellemybelle    June 19, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    I have a feeling this is really going to be us after the wedding. I already have baby fever but I know once the wedding has come and gone, it will be a lot more intense! I don't have any advice except to say that you aren't the only one! Hang in there. When you finally do have a baby when its the right time, all the waiting will have been worth it!

     
    9.
    Member
    1,198 posts
    Bumble bee
    lemondrop    March 13, 2010   Arizona

    @Abbee: Cowbell- nice!!

    @ Bunny: It is hard when everyone around you seems to be starting a family.  Our friends seem to be dropping like flies in the children department!  First everyone was getting married except us, now they are all having babies when we are getting married- we seem to be a step or two behind everyone else even though we have been together for quite some time.  My two besties from high school have two kids each, and I feel a little left out of an exclusive club. 

    FI and I both got baby fever on a trip to Disney World a year ago, it is what jump started the engagement and wedding planning.  We have been moving away from the college lifestyle and into settling down gradually, and we just suddenly felt ready for the next steps.  At first we thought we would have the green light just after the wedding, but now we are both going to be leaving our jobs, so that will put things off for a little while.  I will not stop the bc before I have an insurance card in my hand! 

    I'm just considering this time period like wedding planning- learning everything I can and waiting till the big day arrives.

     

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