A Difficult Situation. . .

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What would you do if you were me?
    Wait a few months, see if she's in a better place and decide then? : (2 votes)
    20 %
    Wait a few months, have a conversation with her about whether she'd want to be in this wedding? : (7 votes)
    70 %
    Don't ask her to be in the wedding at all. : (1 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7197 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @KLC216:  I didn’t vote because my opinion wasn’t there: I think you should ask her soon.

    She didn’t rant about weddings in particular, she ranted about *that* wedding. So long as you’re confident you won’t do those things (i.e. expect huge financial contributions) I think you’ll be fine.

    The problem with delaying a few months, is you’ve already asked the others. What if she hears the others are BMs? It creates a kind of awkward situation. So better to ask them all fairly close together.

    Post # 4
    Member
    575 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    It could just be that she’s having a rough time and needed to vent? If this is someone you really want to be in the wedding, I’d ask her. If she really can’t do it, hopefully she’ll be honest with you and let you know.
    Or maybe there’s another way she can be in the wedding without the big expenses of being a bridesmaid? Maybe she could officiate if your state allows it, or she could be an usher or do a special reading during the ceremony? 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    She was venting about the wedding, but she is still standind up with that bride on her day and supporting her. Most people are concerned about the costs associated with being in a wedding party, the possibility of wearing an outfit you don’t like, and potentially dealing with a bridezilla when the stress gets to the bride. But they do it anyway because they love the couple and want to be there for them.

    Don’t take her vent as a reason not to ask her. You could talk to her about it and say “hey, I know the wedding you are currently in is stressing you out, I would love for you to be in my wedding but if it would be too much I understand.”

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