A disappointing Valentine's Day

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
274 posts
Helper bee

@Yak:  That would break my heart, too. If that’s all you asked of him, I’d think he’d oblige. I find it weird that he acts odd about saying it, though I know a lot of men don’t say it regularly and assume we should “just know”. I’m really, really sorry. Try talking to him about it calmly tomorrow. I know it doesn’t help right now. If it’s going to eat at you all night. Calm down, crawl into bed with him, kiss him, and ask him to tell you he loves you like he means it. Like I said, I’m really sorry. I’d be crushed.

Post # 4
Member
515 posts
Busy bee

@Yak:  You are not crazy/asking too much. A man that loves you should not have any trouble saying it…especially since he knows it means a lot to you AND bc you reminded him that that was what you wanted. I don’t think you should have to beg someone to tell you they love you and this would be such a sore spot for me. I’m sorry you are going through this! Have you asked him why he doesn’t like saying it?

Post # 7
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Yak:  Is it just the words or is he not loving in other ways? Have you talked about why he has trouble saying it?

Post # 8
Member
515 posts
Busy bee

@Yak:  well please let us know how it goes. Those discussions can be hard but if you are calm, thoughtful, and use “I” statements he will be more likely to open up and not get defensive. **hugs** Every relationship has it rough patches…even great ones! I hope things go well for you tomorrow!

Post # 9
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

That would be a deal breaker for me. For the first time I’m in a relationship where my FI and I say I love you all the time. I feel a lot more secure when I get to hear the words and I never used to say it and never grew up hearing it. I never realized how awesome it is to hear it until we started saying it multiple times daily. 

 

Everyone is is different and some people don’t need to hear it all the time. Maybe read the 5 love languages and have him see how important it is to you. 

Post # 11
Member
274 posts
Helper bee

@Yak:  Give him a kiss goodnight, enough to wake him up so he knows you did it. That should help clear the air enough for a big discussion tomorrow. 

Post # 13
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Yak:  It sounds like he loves you in his own way but is having trouble communicating that in a way that’s meaningful to you. Have you read the book the 5 Love Languages? It talks about bridging the gap between different love communcation styles. I know DH and I really enjoyed it. 

http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156

Post # 15
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I’m very sorry that this was upsetting to you, but for all it’s worth; I’m sure he loves you.  Try not to allow this day to override the other 364 days of the year. Believe it or not, some women have just the opposite problem. They’re only shown loving sentiment on V.Day, but the other 364 days of the year are mostly questionable.  

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