A friend assuming she's invited…

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
42117 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Jcal87:  Woman up and tell her. I think it’s more hurtful for you to drag it out and keep leading her on. Tell her that you have to limit the guest list and won’t be able to invite everyone you would like to have at the wedding.

Post # 3
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yeah I agree that next time she mentions coming, say, actually unfortunately we have had to keep the guest list REALLY small so I can’t invite everyone I want to… it sucks! 

Post # 4
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I have perfected the art of saying that we are having a small, intimate wedding and that we can’t invite everyone we want.  It’s best to nip this in the bud now.

Post # 5
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

dmh426:  Agreed. 

Jcal87:  Don’t say this if you don’t mean it BUT we too are having a small wedding b/c of our small venue and budget.  There’s a group of women I became friendly with this year, but I really couldn’t invite them.  I invited them to my bachelorette party and was honest about my guest list.  People DO understand.  I also said that once we got more solid numbers, I would like to have them there.  No one was offended.  People are more understanding of these things than you might think.  You need to lay the law now, though.  

Post # 6
22 posts
  • Wedding: September 2015

I do agree with the others here. Sooner the better, regardless of how awkward or difficult it will be to have the conversation, it will get harder the longer you wait. People certainly understand about the costs. Just be honest and upfront. Maybe think of a different way she can celebrate from afar? Dinner or lunch or something with your fiance when he comes to visit? Just an idea…

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