- 3 years ago
Hi bees! I’ve been living in Tennessee for a year for work, but will be moving back up to Chicago where my fiance is in a few months. Our wedding is in NYC (where his parents live) next April. While in Tennessee, I’ve made two or three really good friends who are definitely going to be invited to the wedding, and then a casual group of friends, mostly from church, who I don’t intend to invite. (Our wedding is going to be 150 people and we’re doing a seated dinner, so we have really tried to keep our list down, hoping that even less than 150 will come, to lower our overall cost (dinner is over 100 per person). One of these more casual friends I made recently started talking about how excited she is to come to NYC for our wedding (she went on and on about how she hasn’t been to NYC since she was little and she’s so excited to see the city)…but I wasn’t planning on inviting her. I don’t think she’s intentionally inviting herself- I’ve come to understand that in a lot of southern weddings, guest lists are huge and they are more buffets than plated dinners, so many of my friends here don’t send out RSVP cards or have a strict idea of guests, etc. I think she assumes that our wedding is the same. I don’t really know how to respond though…I usually say something lame like “I can’t wait for the wedding, I love New York,” etc and try to change the subject. I can’t even invite some of my stepfamily due to our small budget, so I am definitely not inviting any of these casual friends that I’ve known for less than a year…The other day I tried to hint that we’re over our budget and I mentioned our plated dinner, but she didn’t pick up on it. I don’t know how to directly address it with her. Should I even address it? I’m moving back in three months and I doubt we will talk regularly when I leave so I could just avoid it, but I feel really bad not addressing it now. Any advice/help you can give would be great!!