Post # 1
My fiance’s mother’s friend wants to buy us a $300 mixer, while, albeit very generous, is not on our registry and is not something either of us wants. My future MIL is going to ask me what color I want so she can tell her friend. Is it ok to tell her that I don’t bake and therefore do not need an expensive mixer? Can I refer her to the registry instead? Help!
Post # 3
You could always just return it. May not be "proper" but that’s what I did.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2018 - The Rivers Club
maybe your future hubby could tell her, I’m sure he knows a way to break it to her gently
Post # 5
I agree with Candi. I’d much rather return the item (she never has to know) then risk making the gift giver feel as if the gift is un-appreciated in even the slightest bit. If you’re worried that she’ll find out, and really just want soemthing off your registry, then I’d ask your FMIL to refer her friend back to registry, not you.
Post # 6
Is there some other kitchen fabulousness that you do want? Maybe a pasta maker, a bread machine, a food processor? Any one of those would be comparable, and maybe she’d be happy to get you something like that. Although I have to tell you, I love my KitchenAid. And I don’t bake all that much – but I do bake more than before I got it, because it’s so darn easy. It actually sees more service making mashed potatoes – a couple times a week – than anything else. However, if you’re not going to use it at all, it’s a definate waste of counter space. (Maybe you can plead lack of counter space, which is something everybody understands.) And in the end, if people insist on getting you something you don’t want or need, you just return it!
Post # 7
Either your FI or his mother should let her know (in an appropriate way of course) that you don’t bake and that there are plenty of other things that she could buy that are comparable to the mixer and would be put to good use. It seems mean to me that you should be expected to receive a gift that you neither want or plan to use because you don’t want to offend the giver (who is supposed to be gifting you things you guys will like and/or use). It sounds like she’s giving you guys what she wants to give you if she hasn’t consulted the registry or asked someone close to you about a gift choice. Most people don’t just think "stand up mixer" when contemplating what to give someone. That’s a fairly specific and expensive gift, and for sure not a gift I would buy for someone if I didn’t think they would use it. You can always return it (hopefully, if she includes a gift receipt or the store doesn’t have weird return policies), but it just seems easier to have someone let her know that there’s probably a more practical gift that she can give you guys.
Post # 8
Whatever you do…let your FI talk to his mom, first…don’t use she, her or anything that implies is only your decision…
make sure he says: <span class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-weight: bold”>WE don’t bake! <span class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-weight: bold”>WE appreciate the gesture but <span class=”Apple-style-span” style=”font-weight: bold”>WE don’t think it be put to the good use it deserves.
Don’t let it seem like you’re the "ungrateful, snobby, b*tch!" which sometimes happens when feeling get hurt or people are trying to save face…. trust me…if there’s no ulterior motive…like your FMIL trying to pocket the future "re-gift" (maybe she bakes more than you do)… is better that you stay out of it and let your FI do the talking.
Post # 9
uhg, we got lots of stuff not on our registry, and i dont think there is a "nice" way to tell someone you dont want their gift. i’d be glad they at least asked you to pick your fave color, write a gracious thank you note & then put it in the basement/attic/moms house until you need it (bc you never know).
Post # 10
What a generous gift! Just smile and name a color, and don’t worry, Bed Bath and Beyond will take it back and give you cash for it without any problems.
Post # 11
You could sell it! If I don’t get the mixer on my list, I’ll buy it from you. 🙂
No, really… You accept it and write a lovely thank you note and then either return it for what you need or store it forever! It is true that Bed Bath and Beyond will give you cash for it, but only if you are registered there.
Post # 12
graciously accept the very generous gift and exchange it later. doing anything else is tacky.
Post # 13
I would say it would be tacky to refuse the gift if you’d simply heard through the grapevine that you’d be getting a mixer. If the MIL is going out of her way to find out what color you want, mention a color but also mention that you don’t really bake, but could use (name a couple of similarly priced items on your registry). If the friend is set on the mixer, then you can exchange it/sell it/whatever, but you certainly have a right to make your preferences known in this particular situation.
Post # 14
Even if you don’t bake, you might still have use for the mixer. Those expensive ones have tons of extra attachments you can buy that can turn the mixer into a meat grinder, pasta machine, ice cream maker, juicer, etc. Maybe you could use it that way? Also, you might want to add whipped cream to a store-bought dessert, and you can use the mixer to make a quick and fantastic whipped cream that is night and day better than the kind in a can.