Post # 1
I read this today and it really resonated with me, I have seen irl and online how sometimes people will frequently talk negatively about their spouse/fiance/boyfriend, and we tend to forget the power of our words. http://www.startmarriageright.com/2012/02/beware-the-husband-hater/
Post # 3
I don’t have any friends who talk about their significant others like that, not unless they’re seriously considering breaking up with them. Who does that? Maybe it’s a cultural thing?
Post # 4
I think this applies to life in general. Criticism and negativity will just breed more of the same!
@Beluga: I agree with this as well. I have never heard people do this except for a few who I are in awful marriages and it’s actually really uncomfortable to be around.
Post # 5
A friend of mine complains about her husband non-stop. They live away, so we don’t see them much and as a result, I haven’t really gotten to know him, beyond her negative words.
When they came to our wedding, he seemed great! I felt bad about not liking him without really knowing him.
I am soooo careful to keep my DH comments/criticisms to a minimum. If I have a problem with DH, I talk to him about it.
Post # 6
I do actually hear this from people and it’s been mentioned on the boards before – older couples who tell you (somewhat jokingly) ‘you’ll regret getting married’, wife always nags, husband never helps out, never listens to me – so I do think it’s important to remember how much power our words have.
I know I fail sometimes and nag at DH for not doing one thing or another, but I also try to make a conscious effort to tell him thank you for taking the garbage out or how wonderful of a husband he is. I never want him to feel like I take him for granted!
Post # 7
I work with all men, and all day long all they do it bitch about their wives. Some of them would benefit from reading this article!
Post # 7
Love it & totally agree. Maybe not true for everyone, but when I listen to my best friend complain about her husband for an hour on the phone, it seems like I’m automatically more hostile towards DH in both thoughts & words. It sets the tone for my relationship that day. On the flip side, when I only have positive things to say to her about DH (which is the majority of the time), she gets annoyed with “our perfect relationship”. If I complain too, it validates her relationship somehow, so I may just be doing it to relate to her on some level, which really isn’t healthy either.
I also think there’s a difference between harmless everyday complaints and straight up demeaning your husband. Overall, negativity in general is never good for anyone or thier relationship.
Post # 8
Yeah all of us are humans and its easy to go into a rant sometimes, even if you don’t really mean the negative things you say, if it goes on too much its easy to fall into bad patterns! My ex got me into negative patterns and every day I make sure I don’t make my wonderful fiance pay for what someone else made me feel like 🙂
Post # 9
You know this is really interesting. The women I work around will either bash their husband or talk about how awful their exhusband was. Looking back now, I do seem to be bad towards my SO after those days…. I’m going to be more cognisant (sp?) of this!
Post # 10
Wow, that article is great. My best friend is a complete male hater. She got her heart broken badly last year, so now she is completely anti-relationship. It’s awkward because she is my MOH, but I feel like she never likes to hear about how great my relationship is. Everytime we talk – she vents about how much she hates guys, she thinks they’re all jerks, and relationships are just a waste of time. After speaking with her, my fiance always points out that I treat him differently. I always just thought he was nuts for thinking that… but now I see that he is right. This article is so true.