A hard post to write…

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I don’t really know what to say besides I am SO sorry you are going through this.  Also, don’t believe everything you see online… wait until you talk to your doctor before drawing any conclusions.  I know that’s easier said than done, but my thoughts and prayers are with ya’ll that at the end of this you will have a healthy and happy baby.

Post # 4
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m sorry you’re going through this.  But, I would recommend trying not to get too upset until talking to the doctor.  As a human doctor I can’t even tell you the number of times patients have come to me after consulting “Dr. Google” very worked up yet dead wrong about things.  So, have a talk with your doc and see what he/she says. 

Depending on your age, IVF success rates aren’t horrible.  If your tubes are really your only issue that makes your likelihood of success even higher than the averages because the whole issue of the tubes is completely bypassed with IVF, and it seems like your ovaries, uterus, and DH’s sperm are all in great working order. 

All of that said, dealing with infertility isn’t easy so I definitely feel for you.  Are you on the 1+ boards…I’m not remembering…but it’s a great group of supportive ladies over there.

Post # 5
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@family_girl:  I know that’s a hard pill to swallow. My SIL is in the same boat! I think, though, that you should understand that NHS is giving you a light at the end of the tunnel. Almost no insurance companies here cover IVF at all, and the rounds cost $20,000 each. My SIL will have to do it 100% out of pocket, and they aren’t sure they can do it without selling their home and emptying retirement savings – which is obviously a horrible idea.


I would say stop Googling things and call your doctor and ask a lot more questions. It may make you feel better!


Post # 7
529 posts
Busy bee

Hi from a fellow UK bee. Am so sorry you’ve got this news! And after three years! To be honest, I’m shocked they didn’t do the HSG earlier!


I’m only five months into the ttc journey, and already have pushed for an ultrasound (doctor agreed because of abnormal bleeding symptoms, but refuses to refer me for any other tests, or even hormonal bloodwork)!


I thought the NHS offered three rounds of IVF if you’re under 40 and have been trying for at least two years / or if it’s the only treatment that is likely to help you get pregnant? You shouldn’t have to wait any longer to start this. I’d push your GP to refer you straight away!

Post # 8
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Hi family girl, 


I am so sorry that you are going through this time of uncertainty. 


I would absolutely suggest that you write down all your questions/queries/worries prior to your consultant appointment and take that written/printed list in with you.


It can be very difficult to remember these when dealing with a highly emotive situation and because you cannot readily access your consultant until the next appointment (which might be months away) it’s best to maximise your time with him/her at this forthcoming one.


Sit your DH and ask him what questions he would like to ask – add those to your list. DON’T be worried about ooh this is a lot of questions – NO you pay into the NHS that doctor is paid to spend time with you – you are entitled to ask all and any questions about your treatment. If you don’t get a clear answer – ask again until you get it. 


If you can, take a dictaphone and ask if you can record the meeting for future reference because listening to answers can also be difficult in these situations. The recording gives you a chance to go back later when the emotions are running less high and listen to the advice/consultation again with a clearer, calmer mind. 


Just a word of advice on published research – although these are helpful and there are a number of quality control measures that they have to go through before they get published, they are just single studies on select populations and most published ones should have a section where they list their ‘limitations’ of their experimental design. Don’t be fully relying on these to assess your own situation – your consultant will have results personal to YOU and YOUR body. People selected for research are usually recruited according to a bunch of criteria to suit the research aims – you may be in a category that falls outside this specific population. 


I really wish you all the best with this and I hope that you get a nice consultant that will be able to help you and give you a plan for moving forward. Please don’t give up hope – it is really important to remain positive as much as you can. 


ETA: I’m also from the UK

Post # 9
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Oh my! my heart is breaking for you (((HUGS))) I am so sorry this is happening to you, but I have to agree with some of the posters here.  Speak to your doctor first, Dr. G doesnt always have the right answers.  I will be praying and crossing everything for you, dear.  I really hope your doctor has different and more promising answers 🙂

Post # 11
6467 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@family_girl:  I  have no words to express, I am so sorry you are going through this terrible thing. It’s not your fault, no ones fault. There is hope! Stay strong ((HUGS)). May I ask, how old are you?

Post # 13
8664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry that they found anything wrong at all.  🙁 but don’t get too distraught yet! Maybe there is something that your Doctor can do to remove the blockage. You have no idea how large yours is, how serious, how small, or even if age is a factor! When is your next appointment? Please keep us updated!!

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