Weddingbee boards

Hi Bees,

I had a rough weekend.  I had a great time with the girls Friday, and on Saturday I met up with my BF and his family in their suburb.  His brother, who is planning his wedding, was there with his fiance.  I had a wonderful time talking about wedding things with his future SIL and mother!  It was really a good night.

Sunday, though, I got a little sad.  BF's brother and fiance were dealing with a major venue issue that morning, and my BF and I were sitting on the couch while they worked it out with his mother.  And my mind wandered.  At that moment, I suppose I felt very far from being in that position myself.  BF's FSIL has been involved with the family for 8 years.  She is also my age, and is a great person!  But as I sat there, I wished it was me planning.

My BF knew something was wrong, but I just shut my eyes and held back the tears.  I know he realized it must have been hard for me to hear all of this, because he said I am going to be a "beautiful bride" and told me how much he loved me. 

I know he loves me, it was never a question of that.

*sigh*

:(  I"m sorry.  I totally feel for you. 

Your man obviously loves you so much, and DOES want to marry you (you mentioned in another post that you're just saving up, right?), so try to just focus on that.  The thing about the wedding to remember is that it's just one day (albeit, a fun one, but still...just one day) to celebrate the love and life you are planning together.  And when you get down, just remember that you guys already have the love and are planning on sharing your life together, which is way more special than one party :) 

*HUGS!*

Not until May.  I know he cares far too much about his brother to do anything sooner... though the comment earlier about the potential tackiness of "if one were to propose at someone else's wedding..." threw me off. 

I'm going to try my best to just enjoy this dating stuff.  I feel like I've battled through some of the worst and most challenging relationships, and I'm due for my good karma.  We are having a wonderful dinner at a formal restaurant next Monday (my birthday!), and trip to the USVI in December, whatever we can do on Valentine's Day... and then our anniversary, and then the wedding.  There is so much to look forward to, but I am still reminded occassionally of my naked finger.

I expect it to get worse as the wedding approaches.  Probably the day of I'll be a bit sad.

Oh well.  Thanks for your support, everyone.  I love my BF loves me terribly much, and it is good enough for me.  I just wish for sparkly bling.

Yes, we discussed the "timeline" which more or less had to do with when I want to try for children.  I'm glad we had the discussion because what I found out was:

1. He thought I wanted to get engaged and get married within 8 months, like his brother, because when you get engaged you "might as well have the big party and get it over with."  I want to have a two year engagement to plan with ease.

2. He has no idea how to integrate his culture and religion with mine.

His brother is marrying someone outside of their religion and culture, so I am looking to see how they integrate the weddings.  At least I am looking forward to that part of it!

Otherwise he knows I am ready, and I know he is trying to throw me off.  But guys get lazy and "throwing me off" might equate to a year of waiting.  Though last night he joked about getting engaged again.

He definitely knows what I like though!  He came back from a trip a few months ago with beautiful 22K gold earrings.  And my bday he bought me plane tickets and clothing.  And for Christmas he bought us a vacation to USVI.  I can't complain. :)

Yep!  Turns out he thought weddings could be planned on the fly, so he thought once we got engaged I would be "rarin' to go".  I assured him I'd rather not lose my mind attempting to book venues and make decisions in such a short period of time.  He also wanted to duplicate his friend's wedding, until he found out the cost was about $90,000.  I think at that point he realized we would benefit from the long engagement, though he still seemed perplexed why I would wait.  Honestly, I want to bask in the engagement time as much as I can.  I will also be in school during this time, so my resources will be limited. 

His family is Persian/Muslim and mine is from a Christian background, though I feel more drawn to Hinduism and I'm incorporating a lot of Hindu and Pakistani elements in both my bridal design and accompanying preparations.  We will be having a Christian ceremony, and then in the evening a reception with our Nikkah.  I also want to have a sofreh aghd for the Persian side - I don't think he even knows what that is though. :)