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I live with my FI but I'd probably just let myself in, although with a warning I'm coming over. I always feel like boys do weird things when we're not around that would be super awkward to just open the door and see.
I never did but only because he lived with roommates...now we live together, so yea, I have a key! :-)
When DH, then BF, lived at his own place, (well with roomates), yes I let myself in with warning. I'd knock incase someone was there but if no one was I'd let myself in.
Well I can't vote, but I do let myself into his place. He's given me permission to, though, we talked about it and I know he's okay with it. If he wasn't, I would always call first.
My first boyfriend of 6 years...I never let myself in. I don't even know why he gave me a key but I def wasn't "allowed" in his apt if he wasn't there. No way. He was a complete psycho though.
My current boyfriend, I had a key to his place during the first month and damn near lived there so I would let myself in and out all the time. I think it just depends on the relationship you have :)
We have our own house now, but back when we lived separately, I used to let myself in. Only when he was home, though, and he pretty much always knew when I was coming over!
When I had the key to my then bf's place, I used it. He had a roommate, who wasnt there for months at a time, but even when he was, I'd let myself in. He knew I pretty much lived there on the weekends.
Before FI and me moved in together, I practically lived at his house. I was over all the time, and him and his roommate were always leaving a door unlocked for me. They just didn't want to go through the effort (ha!) of getting a key made, but looking back it was probably a bad idea to have an unlocked door so often.
Why do you feel uncomfortable in your FI's house? Is it new?
I'll take this as before we lived together. Now that we live together, it IS my house too, haha.
I'd let myself in if he knew I was coming over. I wouldn't just sneak up on him or anything.
I said no only because my FI lives with 2 roommates and didn't figure it was fair to the roommates for me to come waltzing in. FI has a key to my place (which will soon be his) and he lets himself in.
I had a key to DH's place about 2 weeks after we started dating. He lived alone (with his son) so there wasn't a roomate issue or anything. I always let myself in.
I had a key to my former FI's place but I was raised that you knock on doors, locked or unlocked before entering a room/hearing a "come on in."
Before FI and I lived together I was allowed over anytime. He lived in a condo tower and he let the concierge know to always let me up and after a few months he just gave me a key fob to get in the building (I didn't need a key to his door he never ever locked it) I always went over even when he was at work his old condo tower was about 5 mins from my college and I lived about 30 mins away so in between class I would go over.
thepainter Ok, I wrote a really long post and ended up thread-jacking myself, so I'm just going to post the long details in another thread. I'll link to it.
Here we go: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-feel-unwelcome-in-fis-house?replies=1#post-3245233
He gave me a key and told me to consider it my home as much as his, so yes... I appreciated that and let myself in. It was pretty nice the first time I was there when he came home and he said how much he liked coming home knowing I was there. He still says that to this day and it's important to both of us after living with the opposite in the past.
This isn't applicable anymore, because we live together, but i voted yes, all the time. When we first started dating, FI (then SO) worked as a bartender. I used to go to his house and wait for him to get off work. He also worked a few summers ago at five in the morning doing some cable laying thing, so I always locked up when I got up and left his apartment in the mornings.
I was usually at his apartment more than I was at my own - it was a bit more home to me during that time, until we moved in together.
i had a key 3mo into the relationship. i use it all the time and once i surprised him on his lunch.
We've lived together for almost 5 years, but when we didn't I had a key and I would just let myself in. We're both shift workers, so sometimes one of us would head there ahead of the other and go to bed so we could do something after, or just come in while the other was sleeping. I usually preplanned that we'd do it or called ahead though.
Yes all the time. He has roommates, but I'm good friends with them all, so it's as if I live there too. But to be fair, his whole family/friends strongly believe in an "open door policy". They all let each other into everyone else's house (within the group, anyways)
When my so gave me a key to his appartment after a few months of dating, I always knocked if he was home...I just felt more comfitable doing so...even though he would constantly tell me that I didn't need to knock and to just use my key. I get out of work alot earlier than he does, and if i was planning on visiting after work, (which was closer to where he lived) than i would use the key, but he alwyas knew when I was coming over.
It took some getting used to espically since, it was only our 2nd month of dating. But now that we've been together for 2.5 years and now that I live with him it feels alot more comfitable.
I would have continued knocking even when having the key if he hadn't insisted that I use it
I had a key to FI's house even before we started dating. I always just let myself in. He wouldn't have even heard me if I knocked. Once we were dating I only went home to sleep. Tehee unless I fell asleep watching a movie then he went to my house to sleep. Actually it seems like we house swapped alot! OP my FI finds your man's behaviour mighty strange and urges caution. ((Hugs))
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Hi Bees,
quick question for all of you who are living apart from your partner.
If you have a key to your SO's house/Apt, do you let yourself in?
I have a key to FH's house, but I never let myself inside of it. We don't live together. We're almost 90 days out from the wedding and to some people, it seems odd that I don't just go over there because "it's my house too." I feel like he doesn't want me to do that. I'm sort of uncomfortable there anyway.
I'll give more details to why I'm asking later, but I just want to know what the Hive thinks