Post # 1
Hello ladies, im after you ideas!
So im jewish, my fiance is not. (hes technically roman catholic but never mind…)
We live in, and are getting married in the UK. I go (sometimes) to a reform synangouge.
My rabbi cannot legally marry us, because my partner is not jewish- although he says he would be happy to, by UK law we would not be married!
So we are having what is called a ‘civil ceremony’. This is the standard ceremony in the UK, for non religious weddings. Its only max about 20min long. Im planning on having a few readings, however, I REALLY want my rabbi to say a few things and to do a few traditions also. We cannot do ANYTHING religious related untill the civil officiant has left.
SO, my question is, what do you suggest we do, traition wise, that will keep things sort and sweet?
AND, how do you think i can work this logistically?I need some nice way go between the whole end of the civil part, and him leaving, to the jewishy part.
Any suggestions much appreciated!!
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
Your civil officiant can do his/her part, finish, and then your rabbi can come up and do the seven blessings and you can break the glass? I definitely suggest the book “the new jewish wedding” by Anita Diamant for a breakdown of Jewish wedding traditions, and then you can talk to your rabbi and see what he feels comfortable doing.
Post # 4
I just bought this book! I was umming and awwing about it until I saw your post and all the responses saying how good it is 🙂
I was thinking about asking some friends / family members to read out the 7 blessings.
Im just a little worried that there will be an awkward silence between the officiant leaving and the rabbi getting up there!
I have always dreamed of having a Huppah too, so I have to find a way to make an instantly pop-up-able one of these! Will defiantly have to be hand held me thinks! 🙂
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
Oh a chuppah would be a great and really easy Jewish tradition to incorporate! We are having friends read the seven blessings too, maybe you can work on a ketubah with your rabbi and he can read it? I don’t think there will be awkward silence – maybe during the transition, you can have a friend read a non-religious poem, just enough time for the switch? good luck, sounds interesting!
Post # 6
I actually made a popup chuppah for our wedding, and it was not hand-held. Here is a link to the instructions, if you are interested.
Post # 7
Thanks 2dbride! your Chuppah looks lovely!
Unfortunately, I think mine will have to be hand held, the civil registrar wont marry up with anything religious around, so we certainly couldnt stand under a chuppah!
So I need to do some sort of pop up chuppah- I think ill go google ‘instant chuppah’ LOL
Post # 8
Ours was literally popup. It worked sort of like an umbrella. It started out like this:
However, I can understand not wanting to pause the ceremony for long enough to pop it up.
Another question: do the civil and religious ceremonies need to be at the same time and place? Or could you just have a private civil ceremony, then have the rabbi conduct a normal Jewish ceremony in front of family and friends?
Post # 9
I would like them to be at the same time yes. We have lots of family coming from abroad so it all needs to be on one day really, and all teh jewish ones are the ones coming from abroad 🙂
I was thinking about asking teh venue if we woudl be allowed to have a chuppuh set up outside (weather permitting) so that after the registrar had left, we could all go outside and do the jewish part out there- civil weddings must be within 3 walls- not outside!).
However logistically with chairs etc, I think this would be too difficult. Id have to rent extra chairs for outside, plus we are going outside after the ceremony anyway, so it would be kind wierd at the end of the jewish ceremony, just all ‘dispersing’ 🙂
I think tehy will both have o be inside, which is fine really. Im sure I can make a make shift huppah, and just have it leaning against the wall/outside the door, and tehn 4 boys can carry it in whilst someone is reading.
I think this will have to be one for the programme! ‘Please stay seated etc’.
I assume it will be ‘now man and wife, kiss the bride yada yada’ then clapping, then someone come sup to do a reading, whilst chuppah pops up, and then do some jewish stuff, stamp on the glass, tehn Mazel Tov!! (im excited about that bit! :-))
Do you think that would flow ok?
Post # 10
We are having a Justice of the Peace ceremony but incorporating a couple of Jewish traditions (chuppah, and stomping glass). We plan to have the Justice of the Peace explain these briefly as part of the ceremony. (FI’s family is Jewish on his mom’s side.) The chuppah is one my friend made for her wedding. It’s actually an Indian silk sari stretched between gold-painted wooden dowels (broom handles would work too).
Post # 11
May Ask how the huppah is actually constructed? For the DIY huppah in my head there are 4 poles, and each ‘pair’ of poles has ‘something’ between them (string/thin dowlling etc) and then the fabric part is draped ove rthe top e.g. picture below. Is that how yours is constructed?If so way is the ‘something’ part made of?
Or is yours tied at the corners? If so, how is it attached?
Sorry for all the Q’s!
Post # 12
@ hesmywatermelon: No problem. Ask away! I didn’t actually build the Chuppah, so I don’t know all the particulars, but it was a silk sari, modified to tie to a 4 poles in the corners, much like the sample you showed. The poles were purchased at a hardware store and spray-painted gold. I don’t think there was anything between them other than fabric. Here’s a picture of it in action. Friends stood in 4 corners and held it over the couple during the ceremony. (I’m the one in pink and I’m sitting because I broke my foot.)
Post # 13
Thanks Jade Blue! The picture really helps!!
I think I am goign to try and recreate the chuppah in the post I did above. I foudn that I can get just plain white dowling from a hardware store, that is like 7 foot tall. Fiance is 6 foot= perfect!
So i figure Il try an put some of those screw in hooks into all four, and have a piece of light rope or string or something between a pair of poles, then drape the fabric over- do you think that will work? Only one wayto fidn out I suppose.
Not getting married utill August 2011- a little early to DIY i suppose….I would have to store it somewhere too!