Post # 1
Some background- I’m hammering out the guest list, FI has decided a few of the people on his original list are now “B List”. He wants to nix some extended family in favor of inviting close friends.
I do not know these people and have been to a few family functions on his side and never met them, from what I can recall he and his mom created his list and he just yessed her to get it over with. To top it off all I got from them was a list of names, no addresses or spouses info, etc. Just names. I’ve repeatedly asked FI and FMIL to get me addresses and they completely flake or forget. I took it upon myself to get the information myself, by contacting his family and so far have only a few left to go.
I guess I’m now feeling bad that the people who I chased down addresses for are now being relegated to the back burner, so to speak. My issue is not wanting to come off as rude, tacky or mean. Invitations have not been sent, neither have the STD’s. Does asking an individual for address information constitute an automatic invite?
I’m leaning towards yes…but hoping I’m wrong. Feedback would be great. Thanks ladies!
Post # 3
Unfortunately, I think its a yes. If I were in their shoes, that is what I would think.
Post # 4
That’s what I thought. Thanks for the feedback.
Post # 5
Wow, this is a complicated question. As they are your friends, asking them for their addresses could be a routine thing to complete your address book. But if you mentioned you were collecting it for the wedding, it would raise expectations. And although it will be disappointing if someone doesn’t get an invite, they are not invited until you send them an invitation (or STD/ phone call).
Post # 6
i wouldn’t necessarily think i was getting an invite. people send out wedding annoucements don’t they? thats always a possibility.
Post # 7
I think it might hint towards STD/invite, but they’re not invited until they get that in the mail. It could have been for wedding announcements, holiday cards, etc.
Post # 8
@cruzan1978: Mmm yes, but your asking could be for an evening invite…..
Post # 10
It would definitely make me feel like I was going to get an invite. You could always send them an announcement but I wonder how well that would go over. Are you pretty sure that the extended family would come if invited?
Post # 11
When you asked for their address did you say it was for a wedding invite? Because if so then yes they would be expecting an invite.
Post # 12
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t usually remember when someone asks for my address. I occasionaly get an invitation and think, “how on earth did they get my address?” oh duh, I gave it to them.
Post # 13
I think asking for addresses is a very strong hint that an invitation is coming.
Post # 14
it is a hint that an invite is comming, but you are not invited until you get the invitation. You said they are extended family that FI is not really close to so maybe they wont take not getting invtited too hard. You said they were never at family functions so maybe they would not have come anyway.