Post # 1
My son is nearing 6 years old. I am near 26, my Fiance is near 28. I’m 1 year away from graduating college (undergrad) and 2 years away from getting married (wishing it was less).
And I am having a raging baby fever.
My Fiance recently told me he feels the same, that he’d like to have a child soon after we get married.
Part of me is wanting to get married and have more children sooner. My son is going to be so much older than his future sibling, and who knows how long it will take to actually conceive.
My own brother and I have a 15 year age gap and we’re strangers to each other. We’re very close in blood, but complete and utter strangers. I do not want this for my children. I feel even a 5-10 year age gap is too much.
Long ago I wanted to have my next child so there would only be a 5 year age gap between the future child and my son. But as he’s fast approaching 6 (October) I’m having to accept that that simply is not happening at all.
Does anyone have any advice on how to keep the baby fever at bay? It’s something that continues to occur over the last few years, but ever since Fiance told me he wanted children soon, it’s been magnified tenfold.
Typically I can delve into schoolwork and forget or at least have it wane a bit… but the semester is almost over and I’m looking at a loooong summer of wanting another child while working on my internship. And from my past experiences, internships don’t often load you with much to do beyond watch and observe. Help me, bees!
Post # 4
@Omgbunnies: I’m not really sure other than to remind yourself of why you are making the decisions that you are making. I’ve been suffering from baby since I turned 19. I had no serious boyfriend, loved my life and knew that I was YEARS from being ready (I’m 25 now and at least 3 years away still). The good thing about it was that it showed me that baby fever really was a fever (or more accurately, hormones). Remembering that helps me to stay on track and not try to attribute the fever with being “ready” at all. So… Not sure that that helps, but you aren’t alone and keep using your logic on this one, not your fever-addled brain :). I also live a little vicariously through the pregnant and ttc ladies on here 🙂
Post # 5
Was just looking at pictures of my DS when he was a toddler. Consider my baby fever REACTIVATED. (It took a vacation for a week).
Post # 6
Baby fever could be a really positive sign that you and your Fiance are happy and stable in your relationship. Often times if a couple is not “ready” one may get baby fever and the other may panic, worry, or freak out! If both of you are getting baby fever maybe this is a sign that you guys are ready for a baby!
Personally, I know where you are coming from by thinking about the age gap, but you cannot base your decision on that. Honestly, if you guys are ready than that is what you should base your decision on. There is no “right” time to get pregnant. Couples can always find a reason to post-pone having a child, but if you both decide it is a good time than go for it!
Post # 7
@Omgbunnies: Not all siblings who are far apart are total strangers and by including big brother in lots of stuff when you have a new baby years from now, things will be easier!
I am 21 years older than my next sibling. And …. I’m 22. Lol. I will never have the opportunity to be close to her as sisters are traditionally, but at least your kids will live in the same house for at least a while!
Post # 8
No advice, but maybe arguing against your age gap theory might help cool your heels and make you wait. I have three siblings, one of them an irish twin of the same gender, and I am by far the closest to the one separated by a 10.5 yr age gap. It’s about the people and the relationship they have fostered together, not the age difference. Maybe use the time to warm your DS up to being a big brother and teach him some positive thinking habits about a future baby. I’m sure he’ll make a great big brother when it’s time with your help (:
Post # 9
When I have baby fever I think about finances and it tends to go away. I am currently a graduate student (26) planning a wedding for next year, and trying to by our first home shortly after getting married. FI (26) expresses on a regular basis that he wants to have children, but at this point we know we cannot afford it. As for the age gap, your son will be able to understand that he will be a big brother and enjoy it even more!
Post # 10
My sister is 10 years younger than me and she is awesome.