(Closed) A little bit of encore guilt

posted 6 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

Keep the gown! As long as she’s not crying on your shoulder or pouting about what she isn’t going to be able to do, you might be projecting a bit too much.

It almost sounds like she’s not as into all the trapping as you are–don’t let that stop you from having the wedding that’s right for you.

We don’t have to be ashamed or tone-it-down just because we’ve been down the aisle once before. Every marriage deserves to be celebrated. You do it your way and enjoy it, push away the guilt 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You should wear whatever you wanted to and intended to wear.  It’s what you feel your best in.  Nothing should change that opinion.

Just make sure to do the best you can with your BF.  Make sure you are there for her as much as possible.  Her family doesn’t want to have a shower for her?

Post # 6
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

I love the shower in a box idea. I think anything you can do like this would make her feel super special. You could send her those silly “I’m the bride” items too for a bachelorette party in a box.

A bit similar, my SIL and brother had a 20-person backyard wedding thrown together by my mom in a week b/c they knew they wouldn’t be able to afford a big wedding the following year when they initially had planned to get married. My brother and I were engaged around the same time, and I had a pretty traditional wedding. I felt bad for my SIL & I knew she wanted a big wedding, but at the end of the day, it is not your decision how a friend/family member budgets or plans. My FI and I were together for 4 years before getting engaged, and had the savings to pay for our own wedding if needed (luckily my mom payed for half).

Post # 7
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@Miss Gamer:You have nothing to feel guilty about. Be thankful that you have met your love mate and be merry! When I was planning to get married my BFF offered to buy me my wedding dress ($1800-$2000) and we are on equal levels financially. If you can afford to give her a generous gift that will allow her to purchase a wedding gown or some special things for the wedding do it but if you can’t you should not feel bad about it. I think all I’m trying to say is you deserve to be happy and do what you can for a friend but don’t put added pressure on yourself. Her money problems are not your money problems.

Post # 8
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Is she getting married after you? Is she about the same size. Maybe should would want to wear your dress? Its a bit unconventional, but she may want to.

Post # 9
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Miss Gamer: She will looooove that “Shower in a Box”.  What a fantastic idea!

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