- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
This is long and I apologize, but I can’t talk to my fiancée or my family about this…
So my fiancee and I have been together for ten years. We got engaged on the 14th of January, a day before our anniversary.
I have to admit, I was disappointed!
Heres the thing: We have been together for ten years and after knowing him, he is not very creative and believes that in order to make me happy, he needs to spend a ton of money! I love him for who is because he’s so sweet and romantic and at the end of the day, he does things to make me happy.
Anyways, with that said, after spending a ton of money on a new house, my graduate school education, and my board exam fees, my boyfriend felt that he didn’t have enough money to properly propose. I accidentally found out he bought a ring back in May of last year when I found the bill statement for an $8000 ring in his pants while doing laundry. So I waited and waited and waited. There were so many occasions where he could have proposed that wouldn’t have cost him much money that would have been perfect: during the fireworks when we were at Disneyland, on the dance floor at a club, on front of my family during Christmas, or even New Years on our roof when we were watching the fireworks! Nothing…
So I was getting upset a day before our anniversary after getting into a fight with my mom, not being able to find a job as an RN, having to clean all day because his grandmother left a mess on the bathroom floor and bedroom from having an intestinal virus, and his dad giving me the cold shoulder for whatever reason was making him moody. I vented to my fiancee about the frustration and the fact I wanted to move away from everyone and start anew.
After being upset and not wanting to go to dinner, my fiancée convinced me we should go anyways. He ended up taking me to Olive Garden. After ordering, he took my hands and told me he loved me, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and he didn’t want to lose me (this was normal stuff for me because he’s always like this) he reached toward his left jacket pocket on the chair. Thinking he was getting his cell phone to answer a business call, he pulls out a burgundy box. He opened it and the box had an inside light that shined on the ring. He said, “it’s always been you and me against the world. Will you marry me?” I cried. And then he didn’t know how to put the ring on and then said this wasn’t the proposal he wanted because he wanted to spend more money on it, his dad wasnt there, he didnt get to film it for our future children, etc.
And even though I was happy after being together for so long, I was disappointed. He said those things after he proposed to me, didn’t get on one knee and ask, or tell my parents he was going to propose (parents are Filipino and strict). I felt like it was rushed at that point and not thought out because of what he said!
I think I would have been initially happy if he didn’t say anything but he did and it ruined the moment. I also think I ruined his idea of a perfect proposal too, which makes me feel even worse. Now we have to tell our families because my boyfriend didn’t think to mention it.
Am I overthinking this?