- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
As I’ve mentioned in another post here, I haven’t been waiting very long, so I’d like to say upfront that I don’t mean this to rub anyone the wrong way – I’m 100% aware that this is nothing compared to what some other waiting bees have gone through. But even though it’s been a short time of officially waiting with him, I feel like I’ve been unofficially waiting a long time – since before I ever even knew him. I waited and waited and waited to find the *right* guy while everyone I knew got married and had kids. I waited very patiently over the past year that we’ve been dating, with me actually being the more patient one than him. I had to tell him to cool his jets a few times. But now that we’re actually getting closer, I’m starting to lose my sanity a little 😉
It’s just short of a year now that we’ve been officially together, and of late he’s been asking me for specific details about what kind of e-ring I want. I mean *specific* details that I’m actually uncomfortable giving (i.e., “How big of a center stone do you want?”). I don’t know all that much about e-rings so I had to do some research and get back to him. I did, I described every detail he wanted, even though I really was afraid that this might put some pressure on him. But hey, he asked.
So anyway, through doing all this research (which included actually going to a jeweler to get an idea of what size diamond looks best on my hand), I’ve gotten so, ridiculously, insanely excited that this is actually real. This man who I’m absolutely crazy about and who is the kindest, most wonderful person I’ve ever met, actually wants to marry me. It’s awesome!!
So I should feel awesome, right? Wrong. I’m freaking out with impatience. Now that I know we’re close it’s like I just. can’t. wait. anymore. The problem is that I am just about positive that we’re not really as close to it as it seems. He’s going through a major upheaval workwise (all very positive opportunities for him, but still a lot of decisions to be made and pieces that need to fall into place), and I know that our engagement probably isn’t going to happen until all of that settles down. He’s gotten me to do all this ring research, gotten me all excited, and now MY focus is us moving forward…while HIS focus is his career. And I feel a little off kilter and confused as to whether he is actually as serious about this as he seems. I don’t know what to do.
I know this isn’t really a problem, but I’m actually finding myself getting exasperated with him when all he can talk about right now is work, when I’m so excited about things moving forward with us. And I hate that it’s being so drug out, knowing that our engagement is going to postponed until it’s all resolved.
I hate being impatient. Any advice or words of wisdom would be really appreciated.