Post # 1
Has anyone else felt guilty about being proposed to? My boyfriend/fiancé is ‘officially’ proposing in the next month (by his birthday…his own timeline) although we already have a date and tentative plans (for a tiny, intimate wedding). I feel a little bit guilty for a number of reasons…I am a really sensitive person, and so I’m very aware that there are people waiting a LOT longer than I have for a proposal…an example is my fiancé’s sister has been dating her guy for a few years, but I think their decision to not get engaged is mostly her not wanting to get engaged yet. Some of my other friends have recently broken up with their serious boyfriends of 1+ years whom they talked about thinking about marrying. I know getting engaged/married so quicky is going to be a shock for some people, and I can’t help but worry that it’s going to be salt in some wounds.
Ridiculous, maybe, but I know that doing what’s right for my fiancé and me outweighs walking on eggshells for my entire life. I definitely won’t be bragging a lot about it when he proposes though! Anyone else feel this way?
Post # 3
How long have you been together and if you don’t mind about how old are you two?
I don’t think think you should feel guilty, I guess I did a little when I was engaged for a few reasons but mostly I am just happy. I think the happyness will take over.
Post # 4
Of course you shouldn’t feel guilty if it feels right for you guys! But whenever anybody gets engaged quickly, there will be comments from the peanut gallery. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you waited 5+ years, people would have something to say about that, as well. People like to share their opinions. 🙂 The only thing you can do is be happy, enjoy a strong marriage, and prove them wrong.
Post # 5
We’ve known each other two and a half years, have been officially dating 3 months. We’ve been friends for a couple years, but neither of us really acted on our feelings until recently because we’ve been in relationships and then lost touch for a few months. He’s also turning 30, and I’m 21, which sounds like a huge age difference (and I guess it is). And he has a daughter he has full custody of. So there were a lot of reasons for me to hold off on a relationship with him, but after spending more time together this year we put a relationship on the table and it just has clicked perfectly. I’ve been in several long-term, serious relationships (four 1-2 year relationships) that ended for various reasons, and I’ve always had reservations as had he in his previous relationships. Honestly, if it was me on the outside, I would definitely be thinking “Wow, those people are idiots. It’s never going to last. Why can’t they just wait?” but on the inside, it’s just been amazing. For the first time in my life, I know what it’s like to have a family and to be loved unconditionally. I know what it’s like to feel safe enough to trust someone.
It’s certainly given me a new perspective on respecting people who get engaged quickly (even if many of them end up breaking up pre-wedding or divorcing soon after).
I’m well aware that I could just wait and maybe feel less guilty about it down the road (and my fiancé is fine with this) but I know I shouldn’t make decisions based on my fears about how other people will react or judge me, because they will regardless. It’s mostly my anxiety bothering me.
Post # 6
my parents knew each other for a few years before they got together.
they were engaged after 3 months, and married 3 months after that. they’ve been happily married for 27 years
when you know, you know. don’t feel guilty about falling in love!
Post # 7
When you find the one you just know. I wouldnt feel guilty if i were you. My FIs brother was with his Girlfriend for much longer when Mr B proposed to me. she was and still is jealous because our relationship was moving quicker than her own but if its meant to be its meant to be. I moved in with my Fiance after 3 months of Dating and i got a lot of negative comments about that. i knew from day one i would marry him so go with your instincts and do what you want to do. Its your life, your old enough to make our own desicions. You dont learn from siting back. Life is about taking risks…go for it.
Post # 8
Thank you : ) It’s not really guilty about falling in love…it’s guilty about rubbing it in other people’s faces. I don’t have any doubts about our relationship or our marriage, and all I can do is hope that everyone can experience that and have an amazing relationship to whatever degree they want one. I think it’s mostly remembering the insecurity I felt in my most recent relationship whenever someone who had been dating shorter than us got engaged. My ex and I dated almost two and a half years, and in that time his brother got married and another friend got engaged twice (although the second time I wasn’t nearly as shocked or jealous).
I just don’t want anyone else to feel the way I felt before, because it sucked. Although, sometimes things need to suck in order for good things to fall into place.
Post # 9
Please don’t feel guilty about celebrating your love and your engagement. People who love you both as a couple will be happy for you. You’ll see.
Best of luck xx
Post # 10
Just a thought… Could it be that you are feeling guilty because you know that people will say that it’s too soon, and deep down you also agree?
Post # 11
Similar thing happened to me, I got engaged after 3 years of dating, but someone I know who’s been dating someone for 5 years and still no ring, she cried, when she found out I was engaged.