A little hurt…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1965 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

aww i understand i really do. I said the same thing to my mother but she wanted to do her own hair and make up and get ready in her own room. maybe its an age thing.

Maybe if you explained to her what it would mean to you?

Post # 3
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

While I love the idea of all of the “females of honer” getting ready together I think it is sort of a newer thing in most circles. It was a lovely gesture of you to invite her but maybe in her generation such things weren’t done (including other females, esp. from the groom’s side).


I know how stressful planning a wedding is,  but I think you should just take a deep breath on this one and not let it get under your skin. I would give her a little gift at the rehearsal dinner or some other convenient time to show her that you care.


PS what was the recent disagreement?

Post # 6
7282 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think you need to remember that there are two people in this situation not just you. If she isn’t comfortable with getting ready with you on your wedding day then you need to respect that. It is kind of you to offer for sure but she may want to spend time with her son on his wedding day and not her DIL.

Post # 8
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

She wasn’t with the other daughter in law, either. I wouldn’t take it personally.

Post # 10
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My MIL never got ready with us  and my mother didn’t either. I never heard of it until now. Yes my mom came for pictures but she was off getting her hair done at a different hairdresser while we were getting ready.

Post # 12
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Aw gotcha, ya you would think she would be happy you invited her to be included. This is a tough situation.

Post # 13
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I wouldn’t take it personally either, especially when you said that she wasn’t with her other daughter-in-law either.  I’ll be getting ready at a hotel, and as of right now, my mother won’t be with me.

Maybe the recent disagreement you had is still affecting her. I would give it time and see how she feels closer to the day. 

Post # 14
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

MichiganGirl24:   I want to say how sorry am I that your mother won’t be there with you on your special day. It is such a difficult hole to fill when we lose such special people in our lives and special things like weddings seem to make these emotions all that much stronger.

I am not close with my mother and my grandmother raised me. I had hoped that my grandmother would be in the room with me but she declined. I even offered to have her hair and make up done which she again declined as she is very particular. I thought she could even get ready and come over but again, no. My mother had her hair and makeup done and promptly left the room so in the end it was just my BMs and I for the majority of the morning.

I was hurt and still am a little about how it all played out. I did feel a bit abandoned and I can understand you wanting your MIL to be there to offer that motherly comfort that is lacking. Perhaps you should explain to her why you asked her to be there. She may not really understand how important it is that she stick around. Couldn’t hurt to express your feelings on the matter. Wishing you happiness and comfort on your big day!

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors