- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
Did you ever get to a point in your planning process where you thought “That’s it! I’m finished. I’m over it. I don’t care how this wedding turns out. I just want to be past this?”
I didn’t think I would. We have had a blast. A much needed blast. We’ve been through death, destruction, grad school, and back again. Planning this wedding has been endless amounts of roadtrips, wedding shows, food, food, food, meeting new people, etc.
Then the 6 month mark came. Now it’s not fun. Not even a little. It started with my sister(my supposedly grown, nearly 40 year old sister) flipping out during the BM dress shopping trip. She made it miserable for everyone, especially me when I had been nothing but accomodating.
Since that point so many random little things have happened that I’m just so bummed. First my mom told me my blue wedding flats were gross. She went on and on about how colored shoes on the bride at an event like a wedding is just tacky and no one does that. Obviously I know that’s not true and I went online to show her the millions of pictures of shoes from chucks, to flip flops, to flats, to cowboy boots. But it just hurt that she made such a ruckus about how tacky it was especially when she thinks our mason jar and flower centerpieces wood wood place cards and ample wood/quote signage is tacky and “abnormal” for a wedding.
Then bring in my dad. My dad walks around saying “All weddings are the same anyway so I don’t know why you are making such an attempt to be different from everyone else.” But the thing is I’m not. Honestly I’m 100% my pinterest inspired wannabe rustic but still adorably cute wedding will be exactly like every other person getting married this year. I’m okay with that. It’s what I like. It’s what my FI and I agreed on. So that’s that. But apparently our decision to not hold our wedding in an actual church or spend precious time traveling to the reception venue from the church or doing everything like every wedding my dad has gone to(the last wedding he attending was in 2000) is weird and “trying too hard to be different.”
Don’t even get my started on the people who are taken aback by the fact that we are not doing a bouquet toss, garter toss, or toasts outside of our “Thank you for coming speech.” I’m sorry but I have NEVER been comfortable during a garter toss. I don’t judge anyone, not one tiny bit, if that’s what they want to to. But the garter toss speaks of something very initimate and I am extremely private about my personal life. So why on earth would I do that in front of hundreds of people?
Plus a bouquet toss is pointless. Out of the maybe 15-20 girls on the floor only 4 or maybe 5 would be unmarried women. The rest will be early teens and younger. Each of these girls has appreciated that we’re not doing this IMMENSELY so I don’t understand why people who won’t even be participating are upset by this.
We’re offering a photobooth and lawn games(corn hole, washers, etc) as entertainment especially for those who need a break from dancing or those who do not want dancing. This is apparently a mockery to an event of this kind.
Well I apparently underestimated how fun and carefree our families are.
My father and my FI’s bar wants a cash bar only. Now I’m from an area where no one would really mind a cash bar and there aren’t very many people attending our wedding who will actually be drinking. But we have the money we want to offer wine and beer to our guests. It’s courteous and like I said we have the money.
This of course is appalling to my mother who considers it completely tacky and ensues on fighting with my dad and FFIL about it in a very public restaurant.
My FSMIL keeps making comments about my weight. Takes you gigantic doucheface. I appreciate subtlely veiled “your butt is fat” comments a week before my first fitting.
My BM/Cousin has flaked out on absolutely everything to do with this wedding, will never confirm dates, appts, and rarely responds to any text received by both of MOH’s or I.
My sister keeps complaining about money but to date she has spent $32.95 to put a deposit on her dress(my mom bought my nieces dress, I gave the rest of the money for my sister’s dress, my FMIL bought my nephews tux, I bought her shoes, and I’m paying for all of my girls to have their hair done) The only thing I’ve asked she pay for is the makeup. She commited to helping with this stuff but has yet to do anything. She keeps complaining that I’m spoiled and my parents are giving me everything. But what she refuses to see or acknowledge is the fact that my parents said “Hey..want to get married? This is the same amount of cash we gave to your sister. Do with it what you want.”
They gave us the same exact amount of money they gave her for her wedding. But here’s the thing..her wedding was in 1998. Technically that money was worth a lot more in 1998 and I really don’t see why this has to be a contest anyway
Oh and last but not least. The people we booked to play music for our ceremony have flaked. We called about paying off our balance(gave a small deposit) and no answer. Tried emailing…no answer. Drove by the place and it’s all locked up with nothing and no one inside.
The thing that kills me is we did a lot of research on these people. Lots of good reviews. They came highly recommended. They were incredibly friendly and helpful.
I keep telling myself at the end of the day I’ll be married to the man of my dreams and that is what’s important but it sucks when it feels like 2 years worth of work is falling apart right before the big day.
*I’m sorry if this post is in any way incoherent. It’s 7:30 am here, I work night shift, and I’m exhausted*