Post # 1
As I sat in the bathroom staring at the BFN on my pee stick this am, I found myself already wishing the time away. My first thought was “ok it’s still a little early to test, now it just needs to be Tuesday so I can test again!” My second thought was “if it’s negative on Tuesday then AF needs to hurry up and get here so I can try again!” My third thought was “I hope it doesn’t take a million years for me to O again-hurry up O”, and my fourth thought was “Skipper! SLOW the F DOWN!!”
It’s easy to get consumed with TTC. It’s hard not to dream about the future. About how amazing it must feel to see those two beautiful pink lines, about all the ways to announce the pregnancy, and how surreal that first ultrasound will be! I find myself doing this ALL. THE. TIME. The thing is, I feel pretty confident in that we will all get there one day. Maybe not as planned, but we will get there. For some it may come easy, others might have to go through fertility drugs/treatments. Some might find that adoption is the best choice for them, others may get an unexpected surprise. Regardless of how it happens, we will all have our little family at some point. We will all get there, but what we can’t get back is today.
I have had so many parents say to me, “enjoy life now, because it will all change once you have kids!” I honesly feel like I’m ready for that change. I want the challenge. I don’t want things to stay the same. But what if these parents know something I don’t. What if the grass really is greener on the side? Maybe I should take this time to enjoy my husband and the spontaneity. Maybe I should enjoy sleeping in and drinking my morning coffee in quiet. Maybe I should enjoy this time now instead of just wishing it away.
This TTC process isn’t easy. It’s hard to want something to bad and to accept that we have no little control over it. We can’t control the future, but what we can change is our attitude towards it. Let’s not waste the day away hoping for better ones ahead!
Today I will log off weddingbee (for a little while), pack a picnic lunch and spend the day at the beach with my husband. Tonight we will grill, share a bottle of wine, and sit by the firepit. Today I will not worry about the future. Today I will enjoy the moment!
Xo and *baby dust to all*
Post # 3
Thanks 🙂 and I totally agree…I just spent the last month wishing the time away and realized after the milestone I had been waiting for passed that I immediately started wishing away the next 7 months that I seriously needed a reminder like this to enjoy every moment that I’m given and not just look towards what the next month/year/decade will bring (not TTC, but still).
Post # 4
@skipper2010: Lovely post and very very true. I spent the say in the kitchen baking bread and am just about to make me and DH a lovely dinner and crack a bottle of champagne (we have tons left over from the wedding). Life is indeed great!
Enjoy your dinner!
Post # 5
@skipper2010: I love this post!!
Post # 6
@skipper2010: Very true and a great post to read.
All around me people are starting to get BFPs and while I am so happy for them (esp family) I can’t help but feel the tiniest bit jealous.
DH and I had a good talk last night and he said baby’s are born every single day but all that matters is me and him. Our little family will happen when its meant to be 🙂
DH’s younger sis is due Jan and it was a huge surprise to the whole fam but now I am looking at it positively – when we do have children they will already have a cousin to play with 🙂
Post # 8
This hit home… thank you for reminding me!! 🙂
Post # 9
@fvsoccer: It’s true. I think as human beings we’re wired to always want the next big thing, and to constantly race to the next moment. I’m glad you were able to relate to this even if you’re not TTC.
@Sea_bass: Thank you! So glad you can enjoy the little things too. 🙂
@nzgirl: I know what you mean. Not only are so many people around me getting BFP’s, but they’re all getting them relatively easy. It’s hard not to be jealous, but it’s important to look at the good in our own lives. It’s exciting that you will get to be an aunt soon, and your future little one will already have a big cousin to look up to and play with.
@ChuckNorrisFTW: @squeak35: Thank you!
@Sah: You’re so welcome! 🙂
Post # 10
I recently had a chat with a friend who was TTC and had a lot of trouble and just recently decided to put the whole thing “on hold.” Your post reminds me of her wisdom, which was:
“If it’s not in the cards, then it’s not in the cards, and I will have to face that. It will be painful, but I realized that TTC made me focus so hard on this one thing and making me crazy to the point that my entire world was controlled by pee sticks. I realized the other day when I was on the floor bawling, that even if it doesn’t work out, I still have a beautiful marriage, amazing friends, a fulfilling career, and plenty of my own hobbies and interests–and it was the fertility treatments that had a way of making me forget all those things. In the end, my life can be just as fulfilling without children as it would be with them. It will just be fulfilling in different ways.”
Post # 11
Lovely post & very true! Thanks for reminding all of us 🙂
Post # 12
I love this post–thank you for writing it! I’ve been trying to live more like this lately and it is much nicer. Yesterday I actually had a lazy day and enjoyed several hours to myself of watching whatever I wanted on Netflix. I said to myself “enjoy this because you may not (hopefully will not) always have this luxury!”
Post # 13
Wow. Skipper, thank you for sending this my way.
I feel all of these things. I think I posted about this yesterday, somewhere, but I hate that I am wishing my time away when, really, my life is pretty golden. I need to remind myself of that, and also remind myself that it will NEVER be like this again once we have children. Even when we’re empty nesters decades from now, it will never be JUST US. I love being just us.
And you’re right, worrying doesn’t change anything. I know this. I don’t let myself obsess over other things I can’t control in my life so why can’t I relinquish “control” of TTC? I can. I just have to do it.
Post # 14
Amen to this post 🙂 It’s so true.
Thanks for writing this and bringing us all back to reality 🙂
Post # 15
@daybyday: @StaceyA: No problem girls! I have to keep reminding myself of this as well. 🙂
Post # 16
Very awesome post! After 15 months of TTC with no BFP in sight, I need these kind of reminders! Thank you. 🙂