Post # 1
Hi Bees… Not too long ago I posted about my lovely MOH being pregnant & my assisting with her shower – this shower cost each of 4 people $120 each ontop of both mother’s paying like $400 each…. NOT including the $60 gift I got for her and the gas for a 2 hour drive… Ok Well I feel VERY invested in my MOH pregnancy; I have known since like day 3 of her finding out (shes had a VERY VERY hard time getting preg) and I start everyday with a text from her at 6:30 and talk to her for hours. Ive given her advice on being a mom, more information on pregnancy, answered any and all 50000000 questions shes had, dealt with EVERY freak out she has had- let me tell ya some where crazy! So anywho fastforward……
Thursday she goes to the doc to get checked (her due date is today the 21st) and she informs me she will be induced on Saturday. I txt her mom and ask when she is heading up because I have a gift to send since I’m still working and wont be able to travel up until the first weekend in June. She says “I’m leaving sometime late Friday” well I’m at work yesterday- same as always MOH texted me at 6:30 and we probably text back & forth til 10am or 11am (11-12am her time) and then I get to my desk at 2:30 and have a picture of a baby from her mom!!! WTF??!?!? She had him?!
Ok I text her to see how things are… NO ANSWER. Get 3 more pictures and no matter WHAT I say back to her, her mom or husband I get NO response. OK well I’ve had a kid its stressful etc. I give it time. All last night NO answer to anything! Little sad noone even told me she was in labor as much as Ive been there for her but I’m thinking it was like a quick labor & delivery. THey probably didnt have anytime to let many people know. So FIRST thing this morning I text her husband from FI phone (they grew up together; and MOH & I grew up together 2hrs away from the boys- ODD & COOL!) He answers and I checked on them and said that I had been texting MOH and wanted to check on her. He said her dad & his wife just got there blah blah so he’d have her text me. She finally text me and says hey sorry I’m exhausted, family here call you ASAP PROMISE!
Well FSIL lives in the same town and we are all really close friends, she decides to goto the hospital to visit. Apparently MOH didnt want any visitors last night but had been in labor since 11pm THURSDAY NIGHT! SHE WAS IN LABOR TEXTING ME FROM THE HOSPITAL PRETENDING SHE WASNT!!!! Then FSIL proceeds to tell me MOH only wanted the moms there (didnt call either of their fathers) when she had him, and dads just showed up but that she was in labor all Thurs night & all day Fri- (including the many hours she told me she was at home) and had an EMERGENCY C-Section on Fri afternoon. NOONE told us that either! But that she is mad that so many people keep texting and calling her?
Am I crazy for being a little sad that a girl I have been friends with since I was 4, whom I consider my best friend now and is my MOH DIDNT let me know ANYTHING about having her baby? I feel so invested in her pregnancy and helping her along & dealing with MANY crazy MOMZILLA breakdowns over the past 9mo and she didnt even say I’m in labor OR afterwards text to say “Had him, had a c-section but we’re ok call ya tomorrow” or something? I had an emergency c-section also and almost didnt make it through it so I know it is possible to talk to people afterwards. I’m just sad I dont know anything and she STILL hasnt called or text me! Am I crazy?!?!?!
Post # 3
no i have say that i too would be hurt if she was texting me all morning and didnt say anything. it would be a different story if you hadnt been talking to her that morning.
i would give her a week or so to get settled and then maybe talk to her about i
Post # 4
I think it’s ok to be sad about it, but I do understand where she’s coming from. She probably is just tired and doesn’t want to deal with people right now, I wouldn’t take it personally.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t say you’re being crazy but I do think you’re overreacting a bit. I understand feeling sad or upset over this, you’re definitely entitled to whatever emotions you have.
She just had a baby. I’m sure she was way more focused on having her baby and finally getting to see him/her for the first time rather than telling people she’s in labour. And if she only wanted the moms there that makes total sense. Honestly, I’d say she didn’t tell you she was in labour because she didn’t want you there for the birth. And that’s fully within her rights to choose, no matter how “invested” you are in her pregnancy. It’s her pregnancy, not yours. And I mean that in the nicest, non-snarkiest way possible. And the reason she still hasn’t called or texted? She has a newborn and she’s probably exhausted from her emergancy c-section.
I’d say chill out a bit. I’m sure once things calm down she’ll call you.
Post # 6
I don’t think you are crazy for being sad, I can see why someone in your situation would be upset. I would try not to take it personal because I’m sure her mind was just racing with everything that was going on and she was probably overwhelmed with family and other people. I’m sure you are important to her and she will appreciate your excitement over her new baby. Just give her time and I bet she will contact you to share all the details. Hang in there!
Post # 7
@artbee: Well I understand the tired thing.. like I said I’ve been there before and went through the same thing… but when people very close to me text me I at least took 3-5minutes to update them and then say; well I’m crazy tired can I call ya back when we go home…. One call or even a text would be nice!
Post # 8
Idk if I agree. Maybe you feel like you are invested, and I’m sure you two are great friends, but it isn’t really about you, it’s about her, her husband and their new baby. You should stop feeling crappy about not being told asap, you should be happy that mamma and baby are happy and healthy.
Post # 9
@Gingersnap: Well its not because she didnt want me there… I live 2 hours away and couldnt be there if I wanted to be. She KNEW 100% that I couldnt come up to see him until the 1st weekend in June. So her telling me she was in labor would have done nothing but let me know and I could keep up with how things are.
Ive had a newborn, and an emergency c-section. It takes ALOT out of you… but it doesnt make you unable to text or speak to people trying to check on you.
FI thinks I’m crazy because if you read ANY of the old post about her shower *which I dont know how to link them* he said I should have expected this. I LOVE LOVE LOVE her but she is a very spoiled girl that thinks she deserves the world! I just didnt expect her to completely ignore me for 2 days after having him! I would have never done that
Post # 10
I have never had a child and I’m sure it would be exhausting but what I don’t understand is why she was texting you a lying about being at home when she was at the hospital in labor. That seems over the top to me on her side.
Post # 11
Dont get me wrong Im a million percent extatic that her and her son are great and doing ok! Im sad that I knew nothing and still dont know anything! I wouldnt have known she had a csection if FSIL didnt goto the hospital unannounced. (didnt know she did that). I want to talk to her, see how it went, hear her story… and if thats too exhausting just TALK to her and hear her say shes ok… she had a csection and whatever else.
My hangup is she was flippin texting me from the hospital pretending she was at home! She didnt answer one of my text for like 10min so jokingly I replied to her “Whered ya go somewhere popping out a kid…” she text back.. “Nah sorry my grandma called” She coulda said “Hey Im in labor, my dad doesnt know so keep it hush hush.. since I LIVE NOWHERE AROUND HER”
Post # 12
@emersynsmommy35: Oh, well scratch that part then. I didn’t know that.
“Ive had a newborn, and an emergency c-section. It takes ALOT out of you… but it doesnt make you unable to text or speak to people trying to check on you.
Sure, she may be physically able to text/call you but she may not want to yet. Text her one more time with a “text/call me as soon as you’re up to it, I’d love to hear all about it!” and leave it at that. She’ll get in contact you when she feels up to it.
ETA: The whole lying to you thing? Not cool and sort of confusing but maybe she was worried you’d tell someone and the word would spread everywhere? I don’t know, that part really doesn’t make sense.
Post # 13
How did your FSIL know she had the baby and was still in the hospital?
Post # 14
I have zero plans of letting anyone know when I’m in labor for fear of what you happened between you and your friend…constant texting/calling. lol I am extremely close to my family and also extremely close to my best friend of nearly 20 years, but when I go into labor/give birth, there will be nothing more important than my child, my husband, and me. It’s just not a time I will want to be interrupted by other people.
With all of that said, I do think it’s odd that your best friend was texting you while she was in labor, but didn’t let you know. I do think that is very weird and you have every right to feel sad. But….it looks like your friend and her new family just need a little space. Before, she had you to lean on when she had worries/concerns. Now her sweet little one is here safe & sound and she is probably 100% consumed with the joy of being a new mother.
Post # 15
I think you’re overreacting. Everyone wants different things when it comes to their delivery and newborn, and some people don’t want a big fuss and everyone knowing and callign and texting. Yes, even their best friend. This is about her and her infant, and if you try to twist things so it’s about you and the friendship I predict it will seriously backfire and you’ll regret it.
Post # 16
Yes, I would be upset that my best friend unnecessarily lied to me.
I think this is a sign of how she views your friendship, and that you two are not on the same page about how close you are.