(Closed) A Little Sad… Am I crazy? FI thinks so….. (little long)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

no i have say that i too would be hurt if she was texting me all morning and didnt say anything. it would be a different story if you hadnt been talking to her that morning.

i would give her a week or so to get settled and then maybe talk to her about i

Post # 4
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I think it’s ok to be sad about it, but I do understand where she’s coming from. She probably is just tired and doesn’t want to deal with people right now, I wouldn’t take it personally.

Post # 5
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

I wouldn’t say you’re being crazy but I do think you’re overreacting a bit. I understand feeling sad or upset over this, you’re definitely entitled to whatever emotions you have. 

She just had a baby. I’m sure she was way more focused on having her baby and finally getting to see him/her for the first time rather than telling people she’s in labour. And if she only wanted the moms there that makes total sense. Honestly, I’d say she didn’t tell you she was in labour because she didn’t want you there for the birth. And that’s fully within her rights to choose, no matter how “invested” you are in her pregnancy. It’s her pregnancy, not yours. And I mean that in the nicest, non-snarkiest way possible. And the reason she still hasn’t called or texted? She has a newborn and she’s probably exhausted from her emergancy c-section.

I’d say chill out a bit. I’m sure once things calm down she’ll call you.

Post # 6
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think you are crazy for being sad, I can see why someone in your situation would be upset. I would try not to take it personal because I’m sure her mind was just racing with everything that was going on and she was probably overwhelmed with family and other people. I’m sure you are important to her and she will appreciate your excitement over her new baby. Just give her time and I bet she will contact you to share all the details. Hang in there!

Post # 8
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Idk if I agree. Maybe you feel like you are invested, and I’m sure you two are great friends, but it isn’t really about you, it’s about her, her husband and their new baby. You should stop feeling crappy about not being told asap, you should be happy that mamma and baby are happy and healthy.

Post # 10
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have never had a child and I’m sure it would be exhausting but what I don’t understand is why she was texting you a lying about being at home when she was at the hospital in labor.  That seems over the top to me on her side.

Post # 12
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

@emersynsmommy35: Oh, well scratch that part then. I didn’t know that.

“Ive had a newborn, and an emergency c-section. It takes ALOT out of you… but it doesnt make you unable to text or speak to people trying to check on you.

Sure, she may be physically able to text/call you but she may not want to yet. Text her one more time with a “text/call me as soon as you’re up to it, I’d love to hear all about it!” and leave it at that. She’ll get in contact you when she feels up to it.

 ETA: The whole lying to you thing? Not cool and sort of confusing but maybe she was worried you’d tell someone and the word would spread everywhere? I don’t know, that part really doesn’t make sense.

Post # 13
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

How did your FSIL know she had the baby and was still in the hospital?

Post # 14
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I have zero plans of letting anyone know when I’m in labor for fear of what you happened between you and your friend…constant texting/calling. lol  I am extremely close to my family and also extremely close to my best friend of nearly 20 years, but when I go into labor/give birth, there will be nothing more important than my child, my husband, and me.  It’s just not a time I will want to be interrupted by other people.

With all of that said, I do think it’s odd that your best friend was texting you while she was in labor, but didn’t let you know.  I do think that is very weird and you have every right to feel sad.  But….it looks like your friend and her new family just need a little space.  Before, she had you to lean on when she had worries/concerns.  Now her sweet little one is here safe & sound and she is probably 100% consumed with the joy of being a new mother.

Post # 15
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you’re overreacting. Everyone wants different things when it comes to their delivery and newborn, and some people don’t want a big fuss and everyone knowing and callign and texting. Yes, even their best friend. This is about her and her infant, and if you try to twist things so it’s about you and the friendship I predict it will seriously backfire and you’ll regret it.

Post # 16
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes, I would be upset that my best friend unnecessarily lied to me. 

I think this is a sign of how she views your friendship, and that you two are not on the same page about how close you are.

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