A little story for all the waiting bee's out there…

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
204 posts
Helper bee

I’m trying really hard not to talk about it at this point too. It’s so hard, though! He has the ring! But, like you said, I want to know that he was 100% ready and I don’t want to feel like I pushed him into it in any way. I’m always the one to bring up wedding stuff. I think the longest I’ve gone since we ordered the ring was about 3 days.  Gotta work on that. 

Post # 4
1178 posts
Bumble bee

How long after you doing the SIUP did he take propose? Thank you for sharing your story!

Post # 6
38 posts

@marie02:  It’s like I can last a few days or weeks without bringing it up. But, once I realize he doesn’t bring it up either, I lose all sanity and get back to talking about it. Thanks for your story. 

Post # 7
42 posts

My SO has just begun the ring shopping process. The last few days I’ve been trying not to bring it up, but it’s hard. I don’t think I was nagging him, but he probably thought I was. He actually told me that by me bringing it up all the time that it was actually going to postpone him actually proposing. I know it’s going happen so now I’m just trying to be quiet about it. 

Post # 7
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Marquee - Private Property


raylight:  Such a helpful post, thank you :).

Post # 8
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

So helpful! I need to learn how to keep my big mouth shut. Easier said than done lol especially when 2 of his friends are getting married within the next couple of months, and I’m the MOH in the second wedding.

Post # 9
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Equestrian Estate

@raylight Yes, very helpful!! Thank you so much for sharing…. I can barely go a few days with out bringing it up!! 

Post # 11
1790 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

So glad I read this today. I’ve been waiting since the fall, and I know for a fact he has the ring. He doesn’t know that I saw the box in his safe. It’s been so hard waiting, but I know it will be “soon” (his words). Desperately trying to keep my mouth shut, but as each day passes, it’s more and more difficult. 

Post # 12
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

I didn’t find out about wb until after we were engaged. So I had never heard about the SIUP until here. But my hubs had put my ring on layaway in January 2012, finished paying for it in May 2012 and didn’t propose until September 2012. So he had it for a while. Haha. But I remember the last time we talked about getting engaged before he proposed (which was like a couple days) he had said that it probably want going to happen for a couple more months (he lied). And I remember thinking, you know. I’ve waited 3 years. What’s a couple more months.

And I also remember hoping every time we were together that that would be the time he would ask me, but on the day he asked, I wasn’t even thinking about it. I think for my situation it was a lot more about being content than about not talking about it anymore.

Post # 13
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

raylight:  Thanks for sharing your story and Congratulations on your engagement! 

I went through something similar with my FI (although I didn’t get the reassurances like you did as my man was completely against marriage at the time!). Anyway, it started causing quite a lot of heartache and we had a fair few arguments about it so one day I just decided to back off completely and made a promise to myself that I wasn’t going to say another word about weddings, marriage,  getting engaged etc 

About 6/8 weeks later, FI proposed!


He has admitted since that he had been totally overwhelmed by it all before this and all my hints and conversations had actually stopped him from doing it earlier!  Backing off gave him the space and time to realise how much he wanted it too 🙂

Post # 14
3268 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

raylight:  Your story is very, very much like mine. I waited for 2 years of a 4.5 -year relationship in which we had been living together for 3.5 years already. . . basically almost everything you described happening to you is similar to what happened to me, except I did know a little while in advance that he was at least in the process of buying a ring (I found things I shouldn’t have). I was a waiting bee for pretty much the whole time, so some bees here will remember me. 

Anyway, I wanted to post and say that I’ve felt the same way. I managed to shut it up pretty well for a couple of months before he proposed. I never thought I nagged, but in my FI’s eyes I did. And by the time I stopped talking about it, he was already past his first hoped-for proposal date (a trip we went on that didn’t go quite as planned so wasn’t right for a proposal). So my not talking about it sure didn’t stop him from thinking about it– in fact the whole time he was thinking and worrying about the best way to propose!!!

I thought adding my similar story to yours might help some waiting bees too.


Post # 15
29 posts

Thank you for sharing your story it gives me hope. I have been with my SO for over 5 years and he has had the ring for three months and the waiting is making me go crazy. I get that bringing it up does not help the issue so i too joined the SIU pact and reading some of the stories on here including yours has really helped me take it easy and not nag about it. I feel so much better after reading some of these stories and seeing that I am not the only one going thru the waiting game.

I made a promise to my self that i was not going to say anything and enjoy my relationship until the end of June. If by that time he still hasn’t proposed then I am walking away. I hope it doesn’t come to that but I think that I should also think about myself as well.  

thank you for your story and congratulations on your engagement!!! Best wishes and hope everything goes as planned on your special day!

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