- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I’m not really looking for replies or suggestions, I just need to get this off my chest because it drives me to depression sometimes.
I’m fat. I am normally comfortable enough in my body. I learned how to ignore the mainstream media’s message that anything above a size 4 is morbidly obese, and if you are a 16, you might as well kill yourself, you she-cow.
What bothers me is how unfair my body is. I count my calories and I’m rarely over 1200/day. I don’t drink soda, I don’t eat fried food. I splurge every so often, but not enough to explain my body. I eat right and I exercise 5 days a week, alternating the type of workouts I do to be well rounded. In fact, I am fat but under the fat you can feel some impressive muscles.
I have tried 5 small meals a day, low fat, low protein diets. I joined a weight loss center and as everyone around me dropped 3-4lbs a week, I would lose a 10th of a pound on a good week. I stopped going because the specialists there treated me like I was lying and cheating. Why would I pay good money and then lie?
I have had my thyroid checked. It was normal. I have had my hormones checked. My testosterone was a little low, but that was about it.
I come from a super health food background. Growing up, I was raised in a home that was sugar-free, fat-free, low-sodium, low-cholesterol, kosher and vegetarian. I like to joke that my body is in permanent starvation mode and now that I am feeding it things like MEAT(!) it is afraid I’ll stop and won’t let go of the weight. I’m beginning to feel like that joke is a reality.
It drives me up the wall that some people I know dropped 50+lbs just by switching to diet soda. They didn’t even change their diet, they just went to ordering their bacon death burger with a DIET coke instead, followed by a full bag of chips and queso. I’m happy for those people. One of them keeps pointing out how EASY it is to lose weight (and he’s the worst, he eats like complete crap) and I want to punch him.
This post really has no point. I’m just sick and tired of being sore and not even losing 5lbs when I do everything I am supposed to be doing. I wish I knew what was wrong and how to fix it.