Post # 1
I had a great weekend. My little brother and his beautiful fiance got married! I am very very happy for them. I couldn’t pick a better lady for my little bro.
The one thing that brought the whole weekend down was the incessant “So, when are you getting married?” questions. It felt like every.single.person. was asking me that–even my Dad! Some even asked if I had thought about venues–I haven’t! My BF and I have been together now for about 3 1/2 years and what might have made it worse was that my brother and his fiance have been together a little more than a year, so naturally people were just curious. It got to be really hard though, and I have to admit I cried once about it–though the fact that I was so happy for my brother helped me forget about it and focus on their day.
The worst part though, was my mom… at one point at the reception she came up to my BF, hugged him and said “MARRY MY DAUGHTER!! you better propose within 60 days or else!” Um. or else what? lol. He handled it pretty well though, he just hugged her back and I couldn’t hear exactly what he said to her something along the lines of “don’t worry.”
How do you ladies handle that question? I think I handled it pretty well. My answers varied depending on the person asking it–sometimes I would just laugh and say “someday” and other times I would be more sincere and say “hopefully soon!”
Post # 3
i understand completely. my SO and I will be together 6 years this august. we attended several weddings last year – including my own mother’s and his best friend’s YOUNGER sister’s. i actually spoke with my SO before hand to determine how we’d handle these. I was still a little bitter last year, but the best thing to do when everyone around you is asking “when”, or saying those pesky “we voted and you’re next” comments is to pick a corner or a spot on the wall just behind their head and smile when they talk to you about it.
nowadays, i’m no longer bitter, still unengaged, but it’s okay. now i just say “someday”, and leave it at that. it’ll happen when it happens. and when it does, you’ll be ecstatic and it will be worth the wait.
hope it gets easier!
Post # 4
Hmmm, judging by the fact that you have a username on a website called “WeddingBee” I’d say you’re wondering when you’re getting married as well so I wouldn’t be to hard on the people asking.
Post # 5
I got those questions after we got engaged and hadn’t set a date… after a while, I started answering, “We’re enjoying everyone asking asking us when we’re getting married too much to actually set a date.”
Post # 6
“We;ve been vaccainated”
Then that is usually followed by the “huh” looks
“it seems to be contagious so we’re being cautious this year”
Post # 7
This question used to drive me crazy, and by the end of my waiting period, I came to realize how downright rude a question it really is.
For one, why the heck are they asking me? I would have married him in a second if asked, but I was waiting to be asked. It was like rubbing salt in the wound everytime someone would ask me when I was getting married. I usually answered the same way you did, but inside, I would be either seething or ready to cry.
For another, it’s such a personal subject, and really no one else’s business. How on earth is it socially acceptable to ask women who are already suffering enough in their own minds when they’re getting married?
Post # 8
I am not going to answer. I told my SO how I get so effing tired of ppl worrying about this that next time I’m going to as how the divorce or separation is going.(Most who ask me this are in those situations.) He told me people have the right to answer andbe rude and I have the right not to answer.
So next time when someone asks, I am just going to sit there and look at them until they leave.LOL
Post # 9
Oh man this drove me nuts before I got engaged. I would say that we got asked this for at least a year. It was ok at first, or sometimes people were just being funny but a little presumptuous (when are you having your big party!?!).
I started to tell people that we had plenty of time and were in no rush, or simply that I didn’t want a wedding (still true) since we’re already common law so it doesn’t make a difference to me. With the older generation this went over really well, they had no idea how to respond. Shut them right up.
Post # 10
SO definitely gets this question more than I do. . .he’s 35. He usually responds to his family members with “Soon.”
I told him it would be much more comical to say, “Soon enough.” I also think it would be hysterical for him to wait to tell some of his cousins/aunts/uncles when we do get engaged. How great would it be for someone to ask, “So. . .when are you getting married?” And he’d reply with an exact date. Lol. That would be a shocker!
As for me, it totally depends on who is asking. If it’s someone I’m close to, I’m more truthful. If the person is more distant, I’ll say something like, “Not for a while.” I figure even if I got engaged the following day, I wouldn’t be getting married for about a year. . .that’s “a while” in my book!