Post # 1
(…And let me preface this by saying that I plan to change my last name to his when we get married. But even if you’re doing something different with your name
, take this with a grain of salt because I know we can all relate to the I-just-want-to-be-married blues, regardless of the name game.)
The other day SO and I signed up online for our CSA share. On the website, you filled in your name, address, what size share you wanted, and desired pickup location. I put it under my name since I’ll be the one going to pick it up each week. Then you hit “submit” and it took you to the Paypal payment page. We put it on his card, submitted it, it all went through fine.
Today I get an email from the farmer’s wife saying that she received my order form for my share but didn’t get a payment, and could I please resubmit the payment. I told her that my SO had submitted it and we got the receipt from Paypal that said it had gone through. Dreading a $300 Paypal mix-up, I waited anxiously for her to email back. Her response?
“Oh, I’m sorry, we did get a payment from [SO’s name], we just didn’t realize they went together since the names were different! I’ll fix that now and send you the confirmation letter. Sorry for the mix-up!”
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely not offended at all. It has nothing to do with being married or not — for all she knew we could have been step-siblings or friends or cousins with different last names. But it just made me so wistful for the day that we’ll be married and share the same last name.
I just can’t wait to be “The Hislastnames”. We’re starting to get involved in our community more (the CSA, going to the fish fry at the church down the street every Friday, etc.) and I so wish that all these new people could get to know us as “The Hislastnames”. I can’t explain why! But I figured if anyone can relate it’s you ladies.
Post # 3
Yes, we can definitely all relate to this.. at least I can.
I have a daughter and when I get phone calls from doctors,schools,etc.. they call me “Mrs.hislastname” or ask for “Mrs.hislastname” I obviously have to correct them because when they mail something to me it has to be my last name. I just can’t wait until I can say “Yes, This is Mrs. Hislastname” hahaha, also my daughter and him share a last name.. I wouldn’t mind having it too.. hehehe.
On another note, I wish we had fish fries every Friday! That would be awesome!
Post # 4
I totally get this! I am so ready to be Mrs. Hislastname. If we were in more of a “community” type place, I bet I’d feel this way worse. I dream of the little yard signs that say that the HisLastNames live there. *sigh
Post # 5
@mg1363: Hahaha that’s about the only thing I DON’T want when we’re The Hislastnames because I’m weird about privacy/security. But I know what you mean. If we lived out in the ‘burbs where burglary/stalking is nearly nonexistant I would totally want one.
Post # 6
I can’t wait to have his last name. My last name is the last thing that connects me to my abusive, psychotic, stalking father who happens to work in the same town, in another department of the college campus where I, too, work (it’s one of the few places in town with a position for my degree). It’s humiliating to be asked if I’m so-and-so’s daughter and not have to bald-face lie at some point in the conversation – we haven’t spoken in 15 years, he’s nuts, but it’s not easy to see unless you’re family, and many people think he’s a “great guy”. I shouldn’t have to lie about it, but there’s no “polite” way to ay yes, I’m related, no we don’t talk, the a$$hole disowned me at 19 and proceeded to try to humiliate me in every way possible to ensure I would ahve to “crawl back to him in a fit of depression” and that he’d fulfilled his “Christian duty.” (not knocking Christians, but my father – his interpretation of the Bible is insane)
I try to keep it short, and not divulge anything, but it’s hard when people press about, “how’s he doing?” or even more involved questions, all in the name of making conversation. I am PR for my department, so I must be charming and charismatic in all exhcnages and I HATE this. I also hate the assumption from people who DO find out I was kicked out that I must have been some rebellious chid (I was a full scholarship honor student in college who was in the church choir and didn’t smoke, drink or do drugs, and gasp! was a virgin until I’d been with the same (and only) man for over 2 years and we’re still together, just not married)
If I had a different last name, I’d be free of this, I’d be my SO’s wife and next-of-kin and my father would no longer have any foothold in my life. It’s also save the mbarrassing moments with I’m introduced with his last name and have to correct people, red faced.
Post # 7
We went on vacation in Cancun last year and apparently EVERYONE we encountered played it safe and would address us by Mr. and Mrs. whichever last name they just heard regardless of who it belonged to. They were constantly calling him my husband. After a day it was just easier to nod and roll with it rather than spending the time to correct them or point out neither of us was wearing a ring. 🙂
Post # 8
I never get called “Mrs. HisLastName” (although some of his friends do jokingly call us “The HisLastNames” grrr) but he get’s called “Mr. MyLastName” all the time. 😀 A bunch of bills and cards and such are in my name so when he calls to speak to someone they invariably call him that at some point. I find it hilarious. 🙂
Post # 9
@Kant: I can totally understand how you feel, I can’t wait to share the same last name! Although I haven’t really had any situations like that… Probably because we don’t live together I guess. I’d still like to have the same name though LOL!
Does anyone else have their new signature all ready to go?? Or is it just me that has practised what my new signature will be? If the signature doesn’t look right then I don’t know about this marriage thing…. LOL JK!
Post # 10
@Miss Marbles: I despise the child having a different last name than me. “Hi, Mrs. K?” “No, but this is Annabelle’s mom.”
Post # 11
I can totally relate! I’m “in limbo.” I am changing my name and I have a new drivers license, insurance cards, and ss card… but I haven’t managed to make the change anywhere else though. Already in just a few weeks it has been SO annoying/confusing to know how to introduce myself or how to pay for things or whatever. Example, at the pharmacy:
me: Hi– I’m picking up a prescription. It is under Corgi MyLast. But um, I have new insurance. And a new name. Because I got married…
him: SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH new card please?
him: so the name on the insurance card is your new name?
him: do you have anything with your old name?
me: my credit cards?
him: not your drivers license?
argh. I can’t wait for everything to get switched over!
Post # 12
I totally can’t wait to be married and change my name. My last name is a pretty popular last name in my culture and whenever ppl find out what it is they ask me if I’m related to someone they know what that last name (and EVERYBODY knows someone with my last name!) and it just brings up tons of questions all the time. I would get ppl msging me all the time (on Facebook, ICQ (back in the day), MSN ect.) thinking I was someone else.
When SO and I bought our house, the previous owners left a letter addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname” – even though we had both of our full names on all of the negotiations and contracts that they signed. We laughed at it – but it did make me wish more that I already had his last name.