Post # 1
Yup, that’d be my Mom.
My Mom, whom I admire, greatly respect, and love to no end does. not. like. weddings. Period. She’s told me repeatedly that she’s not paying for a “party.” She never wanted a wedding for herself (she dislikes large groups so she was married at the courthouse with the JP), she doesn’t understand the entire wedding process and why anyone would want to put themselves through something so stressful (somewhat valid point) or spend 1000s of dollars on one day (valid point).
She’s entitled to her opinion, but seriously – if she calls my wedding a “party” one more time, we may throw down lol.
I think a lot of it stems from my aunt’s first wedding – from what she says, it was a simple church wedding with a cake and punch reception, yet my aunt was so exhausted and stressed from the process that when she and her new husband when to the hotel she FELL ASLEEP. The fire alarm went off and even that failed to wake her!
*sigh* Is anyone else dealing with this? She’s not being unsupportive, per se, but she’s definitely not as excited as I’d like.
Post # 3
My mom’s not quite that bad, but she has shown little to no interest in the entire process, which is rather disappointing.
She went dress shopping with me, but really wasn’t in to it. She was actually more animated watching my sister/MOH try on bridesmaid dresses. Also when I brought over some wedding cake samples but, well, it’s cake.
The wedding never comes up in conversation with my parents unless I bring it up. They never ask how the planning is going, etc. It really stings sometimes, but I’ve tried to get over it, since I know it won’t change no matter what I do.
Post # 4
Oh boy I can’t imagine that. I’d die without my mothers constant help, she has helped make all my invites, all my decor, she’s gone dress shopping with me, made appointments… she is amazing.
I’m so sorry you girls don’t have that. Do you have good MOH or BMs to help? What about FMIL of FSIL?
Post # 5
I wish I did, but no. My sister is my MOH and there are no other bridesmaids because I thought a smaller wedding party (for a small wedding) would be easier to deal with. My sister was a stay-at-home mom, but then her fiance left her and the baby, so she is now working full-time and my mother is watching the baby. I feel bad for her, of course, but I also really feel like I can’t ask anyone in the family for anything, since all resources (time and money) are going to my sister.
My FMIL is great but she lives 5 hours from us, so she can’t do much to help. But she is good for bouncing ideas off of at least!
As my FI has said, our wedding will really be reflective of my vision, since I’ve done it andplanned it all myself. I just try to focus on that aspect. I’d love to have my family be all excited and into the event, but it’s been clear for months that that will never happen.
Post # 6
My Mom started out saying she wasn’t into weddings (she did courthouse both times) but the closer we get the more excited/into planning she is. She just picked out our entire menu AND crafted a martini bar menu! With drink recipes, funny drink names and customized swizzle sticks! I was like “Woah, who are you and what did you do with my Mom?”
So maybe your Mom will come around. There may be some things she’s into and others she takes a pass on, but I’m sure SOMETHING about the wedding will excite her once she realizes it’s actually happening.
Post # 7
Wow, I didn’t notice how much time you still have left! Yes, qui40067, I agree with moderndaisy. You still have lots of time. Just keep her in the loop andshe may come around once the time gets closer and you get more into the planning process.
If she doesn’t, just know that it doesn’t really make the day any less exciting. My family isn’t exactly known for showing emotion and excitement at all. Still, I was hoping this might change this one time. It hasn’t, and that’s OK. Maybe if the situation with my sister had turned out differently… but I’ll never know. It’s still my wedding day and I know my fiance and I are very excited. That’s what really matters.
Post # 8
My mom is somewhat like that. She paid for half of the reception deposit, but getting that was like pulling teeth. She never really asks how the wedding is coming and I had to come over to her house with my laptop and read through the guest list, forcing her to make contributions and to see if I missed anyone. By the way, since the reception deposit, she hasn’t offered to pay or help with anything, even when I tell her what my dad (my parents are divorced) and MIL/FIL are paying for. She seems to have no interest. Fortunately for me, my MIL and SIL are great! They are always willing to talk about it and bring up wedding stuff fairly often (I have a long engagement – just under a year and a half to go) and they are very supportive. When I asked my mom to drive an hour and a half to a decent sized city to look at wedding dresses, she thought that was too long to drive. My MIL and SIL can’t wait! I say, just look to those who are supportive. I know it hurts when your own mother doesn’t seem to care. Chances are, as it gets closer, and on the big day, she’ll be supportive and excited. If not, then don’t worry about it. Enjoy your planning and your day – period. Don’t let her lack of enthusiasm bring you down!
Post # 9
@charismaclassic – I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too. I guess we can both try to see the bright side that at least we don’t have moms who are pushing their ideas onto us? I’m trying to view it that way, but you’re right – it does sting some.
@miss-spunkin – My MOH is super sweet and wants to be as helpful as possible, but she’s having trouble with my and FI’s vision for our wedding. She comes from a much wealthier and more traditional family than mine, and is very confused as to why I’m not doing x, y, and z, even though she knows our itty bitty budget lol. She’s coming around though, and I think she’ll be hugely helpful during the process 🙂
And to everyone – thanks for the bee love hopefully y’all are right and she will come around b/c there still is a ways to go! She did get a little excited when I mentioned gelato, so who knows? I’ll keep my fingers crossed.