(Closed) A money problem plz help

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2759 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t really see why or how your father owes you any money… you’re an adult and any debts you’ve incurred are your responsibility. Not sure I agree with calling someone up and asking them to give you their money. And offering to give your mother money if she can convince him to give you money? o_O That just seems really wrong to me.

I think you should start being responsible with your debt and work on reducing it without asking your estranged father for handouts. And if giving your mother money is a problem and she’s put you “through hell”, then stop giving/promising her money. Just don’t let it become a topic of conversation.

Post # 4
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@suez:  If your dad didnt take care of you throughout your life, and that is a pattern with him, why would you expect him to start now?


“All [you] got was 5 grand”?  Sounds like that’s alot more than he ever gave you before, I’d just be happy you got that.  He may be your dad, but that is HIS money. Parents that have GREAT relationships with their kids dont typically just go around throwing thousands of dollars at them, so it’s no suprise to me that a dad you dont have a relationship with would either.


As far as what’s fair to give your mom, I dont know why you promised to give her anything in the first place she makes you so miserable. 


Post # 6
2556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Your mother didn’t talk your father into giving you some money, you’re the one who did it.  I don’t think you owe her anything.  Especially since it sounds like SHE owes YOU money.  If you haven’t told her that your father has given you money, I personally wouldn’t, otherwise she’s going to feel like you owe her some.  Sorry, I know that sounds like shitty advice… :-/

Post # 7
2656 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@suez:  let me get this straight. your dad hasn’t been a part of your life for a long time, and the first thing you do when you hear he has money is to call him up and ask him for cash?

I don’t understand why you aren’t trying to have a relationship with your father, if he is so important to you (notice this is filed in the RELATIONSHIPS tab). 

I would be pretty pissed off if a relative I hadn’t spoken to in a long time hit me up for cash.


Deal with your debt on your own.

Post # 8
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@gingerkitten:  Exactly. And if “only” $5000 was “about 10%” of what OP asked for, that means she asked an estranged relative for about $50,000.

Post # 9
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@MissCalifornia: +1

@suez: You are an adult and you shouldn’t rely on others to bail you out and pay your bills, especially an absentee father who hasn’t given you anything in the past. Your mom is the one that didn’t file for child support years ago, that’s her fault, it doesn’t mean you are entitled to anything now. Also “all i got was 5 grand” REALLY? If someone GAVE ME $5k I’d be over the freaking moon, maybe you should be happy for what you got instead of what you didn’t get. Also you should take your issues up with your mom and her alone, sounds like she’s the one mooching off you, not your dad.


Post # 10
4931 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sorry, but you’re not entitled to his money. He didn’t get you into debt, he doesn’t owe it to you to get you out. His fathering abilites are a completely separate issue. 

If you are having debt problems, make a budget, purge your unecessary expenses and stick stick stick to the plan. It’s going to take work to get out of it. 

Post # 12
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

All I have to say is seriously? I can’t believe this actually occurred.

Post # 13
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Unfortunately you’re stuck with a deadbeat dad and any time you rely on him for something he is only going to disappoint you.  The best thing for you to do is cut him completely out of your life and move on.  He’s made it clear to you that he doesn’t want a relationship with you so why keep dealing with him when it only ends up with you hurt by him again and again?

Post # 16
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@gingerkitten:  +1


What is happening in this thread?!?  


OP, You’re not owed anything because of how your mother chose to settle her “devorse”

The topic ‘A money problem plz help’ is closed to new replies.

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