Post # 1
I’d like to hear some feedback on this from parents. I do not have children (yet), but I gotta say that I’m kind of on board with this article. Maybe I don’t “get it” because I’ve never been a mother, but I think kids are such weenies anymore! I’m not talking about Pinterest mommies or PTA parents… I think all that is great and I look forward to creating all of those special memories and experiences. I want to be involved. But I do not want to be a helicopter parent. You know the type.. calling the school, arguing about disciplinary action, whining to the coach. Blah, blah, blah. There are times you need to be an advocate, but more often than not I think kids ought to learn how to polish a turd. And I’ll be honest, I’m frightened that once I do have children, some awful hormonal protective maternal instinct will consume me and I will be overtaken by the urge to bulldoze every adverse experience my kids could encounter. So what do you bees think?
Post # 3
Children are not allowed to experience the real world…full of pain, full of failure, a world where they won’t always be the most important person. Obviously parents want to protect them from these things and yes, I think there are things that children SHOULD be protected from. But let them scrape their knees, let them know when they’ve got a question wrong at school, let them know when they have done something wrong.
I am sure there is a saying about not knowing true happiness until you’ve known sadness. Good times are only good when you have bad times to have too.
Post # 4
My whole life, my mom was a helicopter parent. Both of my older brothers are totally whipped because of it.
ETA: Parents today are too concerned with their child being “special” and “unique” and a little delicate snowflake that no one will ever come close to. Kids grow up expecting to be treated like royalty.
Post # 5
@Hyperventilate: —> 100% agree on the Royalty statement
It is very apparent here on the Bee at times, when we see a Bride (or Groom) or worse yet a Mother of a Bride or Groom, who comes on here and goes all cra-cra about some point of how the Wedding is shaping up.
Something that is clearly all about them… with no consideration as to the Rules of Etiquette (let alone Good Manners, Common Sense etc) towards the Guests
A Wedding should be a happy time, a bringing together of people not a cat-fight pitting everyone against one another.
Sad. Beyond sad actually.
Post # 6
UGH!! I hope there is a backlash against this and we reverse-trend this habit of raising ‘Special Snowflakes’. It’s horrible! A few examples that I’ve witnessed or read about…
1) Large corporations (banks, consulting firms)hiring an HR person or two to exclusively deal with the PARENTS of millennial employees. Because they do things like call and ask why their child hasn’t been promoted. Excuse me? It wouldn’t even occur to me to have my parents interact with my employer…ever.
2) On that note, parents accompanying their kids to interviews. This is so messed up…are they going to do their kids’ jobs too?
3) This happened to me and it was so annoying. We were having a picnic in Central Park and my friends brought a glove, baseball and bat. I could see this girl (about 7 years old) looking at them and edging closer and closer to our blanket. I knew what she was going to do and decided to let it all play out. She came up to us, grabbed the ball and bat and ran away.
A few minutes later her mother saw and started looking around to find the owner of the bat. Mom comes up to us and says “Well? Can she play with it?”
W.T.H.? If I STOLE something from someone else my parents would have kicked my ass and made me apologize. Was it that big a deal? No, but on principle this mom just taught her kid that ‘if you steal other people’s things, mommy will fix it for you.’
I could go on…but I think we’re raising a pretty pathetic society. Not saying all Millennials are like this or that all parents are spineless but there are some bad examples out there.
Post # 7
@canuckandakiwi: Haha. I would have had my ass kicked too. But that’s a whole can of worms itself, isn’t it? I pretty much did everything up to a certain age to avoid what I very loosely call a “spanking.”
Post # 8
@GrannyPantiesRock: the other day I saw a child misbehaving (running away from her mom on the street.) The mom picked her up and told her not to run away and spanked her (not hard, and she didn’t yank her or do anything alarming.) I almost clapped. I know some people are anti-spanking but I was spanked occasionally (3X, to be exact so it’s not like my parents were chronic spanker) and I deserved it. Dad said he felt horrible about it but I think it taught me a healthy respect.
Post # 9
I don’t have kids either but I know what you mean. You have to be so darn careful around them. Back in my day (haha) the authority figure was always the adult in charge. If the teacher felt you needed discipline, Mom and Dad encouraged it! If the babysitter felt you needed discipline, Mom and Dad said “go right ahead”. If Mom and Dad felt you needed discipline, it was time to run and hide!
Post # 10
@Aquaria: Exactly. Now if the kid is acting up at school, it’s somehow the teacher’s fault. And forget recess. The types of injuries that inevitably happen when children play are now cause for a lawsuit. Remember dodge ball, rundown, red rover? Forget it. We’re doomed.
Post # 11
I’m not a parent yet but pregnant and completely agree with this article. Helicopter parents Re out of control and I refuse to be one. A client of mine recently told me they had a mother call to ask why their kid didn’t get the job and explain how much they deserved it. Fucking ridiculous and embarrassing!!
Apparently in some schools you aren’t allowed to correct papers in red pen or give grades below a C because you’ll hurt a kids feelings. It’s craziness and I refuse to raise my kids that way. I wasn’t raised that way and I turned out just fine.
Post # 12
Tell me about it! What is really bad is that I get these parents at the COLLEGE level! Hope these parents are happy when the kids are still at home at age 40.
Post # 13
It is very hard when it is your own child- but I try to do my best to hold back. my 10 year old plays soccer and at a recent practice she ended up in tears because one of the coaches comes off as a dick. i did not say anything, eventhough I wanted to- because it was not WHAT he was saying that was wrong, it was HOW he said it. But life is full of dicks. The sooner she gets used to it the better. The other nicer coach came over and smoothed it over- which was how it should be- it didn’t take me getting involved.
Post # 14
The best thing I ever did was teach preschool. When this fetus is born, I know how to comfort and love her while being aware that a kid can fall off the side of a slide head-first, get back up, and try going down the slide again!
(PS- I think I peed myself a little when I saw that happen in my class. But the kid was fine!)
Post # 15
@canuckandakiwi: The one about parents calling and complaining to their children’s bosses is just so flippin unreal to me. As a child of one of these parents I would be absolutely moritified if this happened to me!
I work in the schools (middle and high school) and I make my students sign contracts outlining the rules and responsibilities I expect from my students. One of them is independently remembering their schedule. Since I started 7 years ago, I get at least one parent who does not think it is appropriate for me to force a 12/13/14/15/16/17 year old to be responsible for following their own schedules without me hounding them. No lie.
Post # 16
I don’t have kids, but I agree. I know one woman that basically refused to let her kids go outside, play or do anything that might result in them getting hurt. Now that they’re older, they’re all terrified of everything and their mom still does everything for them. Her son and daughter ended up at the same college, so their mom moved to the city they were living in. I know she’s called her oldest’s job a few times to complain about his work schedule and she’s set up several meetings with her youngest daughter’s professors to discuss her “extrememly difficult” workload.