Post # 1
Ok, so I know that the word on the street is that if you plan anything before you get the ring on the finger that you’re a nut. Welp…I must be a nut. I want to encourage you to start gathering ideas NOW.
I have been engaged for one week and we BARELY secured our dream venue. Because I emailed the venue right away and we got a tour booked ASAP, FI and I locked down the ONLY date left next fall.
Do your research now and don’t feel bad about it! If you don’t want to, that’s fine but seriously, it was so so good that I did. I had read internet reviews and seen photos of at least a dozen venues in my city and I was able to toss out all but 3.
For realz, enjoy looking at things online so that when you get engaged, you can have your pick of your favorites.
Good luck waiting bees. I was waiting for ever (four years of actual waiting, dating for 11 years). I’m thinking of you!
Post # 3
I don’t think anyone discourages from doing research from being engaged. I think the general wisdom is just to not formally book anything or sign any contracts before you’re engaged as plans can change and deposits are generally non-refundable.
Post # 4
Girrrrllll, please. Within twenty four hours of him proposing, I’m calling all of my dream venues to set up appointments for tours. I have so many plans, and ideas, and back up plans and back up ideas, all I need is the proverbial “word go”, and it’s on like Donkey Kong, lol! We even know who our pro photographer will be, as she’s already done our family pics, (which we obvs love btw) AND she just so happens to be one of our best friends! So that’s done, lol.
I’m a planner and pre planner by nature, not just about this. I’ve already got ideas pre planned for family vacays the next four years, and back ups for those ideas, lmao!
Post # 5
ha! i love hearing what i’ve been doing was a good way to approach things. i’m a preplanner like wonderwoman217 about pretty much everything so this was no different. thankfully the mister and i actually checked out my top venue choice [he doesn’t care where we get married so long as we get married] while he was visiting last week and i feel perfectly confident booking it the moment we do get engaged. from there i can snag our photog and hopefully everything else will fall into place.
@Wonderwoman217: hahaha, we’re like pre-planning twins! i have plans and backups for those plans as well. sometimes i think i enjoy the act of planning/research more than actually going on the vacations. if i can go on them, sweet but if i can plan them? i’m all about it. lol
Post # 6
Ok, maybe I should start….I did a while back, but tossed them out when I got irritated.LOL So back to the drawing board!
Post # 7
LOL I practically have my wedding planned already in my head. I already know (and have discussed with SO) what kind of “feel” I want, who my bridesmaids will be, the venue I want, what crafts I want to do, what kind of bouquets, I even technically already have my dress (I bought a vintage prom dress for my senior prom in high school, it just happens to be white…I didn’t end up wearing it to senior prom so it will most likely become my wedding dress), I know what jewelry I want to wear, I know what photographer, I’ve started to make a playlist for our iPod reception, I have a rough guest list, I’ve priced out rentals…and SO is okay with all of it, so HOORAY! Now all I need is that ring and I can have our wedding completely planned in a month, and take the rest of the year-or-so engagement to relax! Haha.
I’m sure my actual wedding will end up being different/having different things than I’m imagining right now, but it’s nice that I’ve been “researching” and gathering inspiration for so long that I definitely know what I like and don’t like already. I have a clear vision of how I want our wedding day to be, and SO agrees with it, so that’s definitely a huge benefit to pre-planning.
Post # 8
No one would fault a girl for thinking about their wedding and having a mental list of venues, florists, etc.
The issue is with girls who put deposits down and sign contracts with vendors when their boyfriends are in the dark.
Post # 9
I for one encourage pre-planning and SAVING. We are having a semi- long engagement because we are saving for the deposits etc. so it ended up working out for us. My venue is on hold with the date I want but it took us looking at a LOT of venues before my fiance agreed to the spot we chose.
If I would have done ANYTHING during my waiting period, I would have saved in those 14 months I was waiting. There are just so many things that you are going to want for your wedding and it won’t hit you until you see them. Also, your dream dress might be a little more that you budgeted, the cake you want might cost a little more. I am that type of person that doesn’t want a budget to control my wedding… I want to control the budget so the saving we are doing in the mean time is helping us out a lot.
I don’t agree with booking, placing money and etc. before you have the ring (unless you are 1000% sure your SO is proposing in the very close future). But pre-planning never hurts with getting your ideas in order and SAVING is one of the best things you could do while waiting which will benefit you in the long run!
Post # 10
@tea: Lol! Who knows, maybe one day (before we’re old and gray, that is) we’ll be date twins, hahaha! There’s something so gratifying about getting everything planned and squared away and all lined up. It’s such a sense of accomplishment, and there’s a little thrill when everything goes the way you planned for it to. And if you manage to score and get a fantabulous deal? Happy happy joy joy, lmao!
Post # 11
I’m OCD when it comes to cleaning, structure, planning, and organization. So I TOTALLY feel you ladies. I literally have most of the things that I want and need researched. I have already started saving as well. I have about 1/3 of our wedding fund already. So once we’re engaged I will have mostly everything booked and motion within 2-4 weeks. Especially being that we won’t have much time. At this rate there will only be about 7-8 months before the wedding. We’ve been together 4 years already so a long engagement is not necessary for us. And being that we only want a Spring/Summer wedding we’re limited on dates. So going into another year (2013) is too far out especially for children purposes.
I am a big fan of pre planning. I think it’s helped me put the budget into prospective. Saving is the biggest thing in my opinon. The more you save the bigger and better your options are and the greater your chances of getting what you want by being able to secure things immediately once you’re engaged.
Post # 12
I booked our photographer before we got engaged. We wouldn’t have gotten her otherwise. We had already set a date – DH was just getting the ring and planning the proposal. When and how he proposed and the ring he ultimately picked was still a big surprise, and I wouldn’t change anything. We were actually able to enjoy our engagement more because we weren’t in wedding planning hyperdrive. If you know beyond a shadow of a doubt your BF is going to propose, I say go for it!
Post # 13
@aleeshabobeesha: you’re right. signing contracts and putting down deposits is a no-no without your partner’s consent and involvement.
i just wanted to validate all the inspiration boards and vendor short lists you all are hiding in sub-folders on your computers 🙂
Post # 14
I haven’t booked anything but I definitely do lots of “research”. I save pictures of the things I like and make lists of ideas. I haven’t booked any vendors but I have to stop myself from starting any craft projects.
Post # 15
wooo, team research! I love just gathering ideas with no pressure to actually make decisions or plan anything. Of course, I hope I get to put my ideas into action someday, but right now I’m content to wait awhile. Glad to know I’m not crazy, though! hehe ^_^
Post # 16
I agree, there is nothing wrong with lining up what you want, and how you want to do things beforehand. As a serial bridesmaid, I’ve seen how crazy it can be (I had 2 bridezillas for sisters). Like some others, I’m OCD and a very structured thinker and I thrive under pressure and running against a deadline, but seeing how it’ll be up to the US government when my SO gets his visa…. I could have 3 to 12 months notice of when I’ll be getting married. So, for me, pre-planning is a god send.
ETA it ate part of my post.