- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
There are tons of articles out there directed at brides telling them how to treat or not to treat their bridesmaids, and the advice is understandable, blah blah blah.
But why aren’t there as many articles in the reverse? Bridesmaids can be worse than the brides sometimes! Now, my situtation isn’t the worst ever, but it’s really frustrating me.
You see, I have 2 bridesmaids and a Maid/Matron of Honor. They’re my besties. Seriously. I love them, I really do. But a few of them have been adding to my stress level and I don’t think they need to be doing that.
All of my girls are in school. One in med school, one in grad school, one with a toddler finishing up her undergrad. I know that they’re busy and their budgets are tight. I kept that in mind, and so far, their expenses have been remarkably low- My mom made their dresses and I paid for the material, so no costs there. They bought me a shower gift and a bacholorette gift, maybe $50 total for both. They live in town, except the one in med school, but she’s coming home for Thanksgiving that week anyway, so she’s not going out of her way. All of my parties have been really low-key and inexpensive. I’m letting them do whatever they want when it comes to shoes, accessories, nails, hair, etc. I’m not being a bridezilla, and I’m trying to make it fun for them.
So why did two of them decide that they had to tell me something to stress me out even more?
I’m getting married on a Friday, and I asked them a thousand times if that would be okay before deciding that. I told them if they wouldn’t be able to miss, they could tell me and I’d see if we could change it to a Saturday or Sunday. They all swore it’d be fine, because I was engaged and planning before they knew their schedules.
My Maid/Matron of Honor told me her professor really hates when people miss class. I asked her if she could talk to him, and she was hesitant at first. She did, and it’s fine, so that one is solved, but why did she have to tell me that?
Then yesterday, my bridesmaid says she has a test at 1 pm on the day of the wedding. I’m getting married at 3, and we’re doing pictures at 2. I asked, again, if she could talk to her professor, and she said she’ll try, but again… why tell me? These ladies are adults… they can handle their own schedules, right?
Am I being unreasonable, to ask that they be available for this ONE day? That they not stress me out by saying that something might be a problem unless they have already tried to talk to their professors and it now is a problem? I know their education is important. That’s why I asked them all if they were sure one day wouldn’t be a problem. It shouldn’t be, because life happens! Is this too much to ask? Am I crazy? I really don’t think I am. I feel like I’ve asked very little of my bridesmaids, and I just wish they would act more like adults and handle these things on their own, and only tell me if there truly IS a problem.
Is there a way to say this to them, without coming off too… witchy with a b?