(Closed) A plea to brides who let their bridesmaids choose their own dresses!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

haha like!

and if you know the dress looks bad on your “friends” don’t pressure to buy them because down the road you’re going to look at YOUR pictures and regret you made your “friends” look bad.

Post # 4
Member
46141 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have you told her that you feel you are getting mixed messages ?

Post # 5
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Also like! 

I could have written a similar post to my bridesmaids!!  I picked colour, fabric and company and said other than that, knock yourselves out, whatever you like best and might wear again (the dresses were black, so I hoped the dresses would be something they could wear again…no one needs another bridesmaid dress hanging in the closet that will never again see the outside world!), and I want you to feel good about how you look!  I got questions about length, straps, neckline, back, shoes, hairstyle, makeup, jewelry…. and my answer was always “whatever makes you happy!” but it seemed they were all so concerned with making sure I was happy they didn’t want to make any decision without checking with me.  Sweet, absolutely, but kind of defeated the purpose!

If I were you I would have to say something… like “well, it’s not really up to us if you criticize every.single.thing.”  Would she be open to that discussion, or are you totally stuck with pretending this was all up to you??

Post # 8
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Wow! I have a friend who did the SAME THING. I’m like, just pick one. I’ll make it work. Lol. It’s a good reminder though – we are going later this week to look for MY girls and now it’ll be fresh in my mind! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Have you tried telling her that she’s says one thing then another and it’s stressing you all out? If not, you should.

Post # 10
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

have you said, “ok, fine, so you don’t like anything that we pick, well, what do YOU want us to wear?”

Post # 11
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@exoticmariee:Thats obnoxious!  I actually let my bridesmaids pick their own dresses, I gave them a fabric and a color and thought they’d love the idea of getting to pick what they were comfortable in.  They all went at different times to try and buy and funny enough all bought the same neckline.  They did however think I was kidding when I wanted them to pick their own, I kept getting the line “You must have something in mind you want me to wear?!”  and I kept reassuring them I don’t.  I want THEM comfortable in something THEY WANT to wear.

Post # 12
Member
46141 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would definitely organize a shopping trip without the bride.

Post # 13
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I kind of see both sides. As a bride who let my girls pick (told them it had to have pink and flowers), it’s scary not knowing what you’re going to get! We only did one shopping trip together b/c my sister/MOH is OOT. She didn’t find anything so the rest had to be done on her own. I didn’t end up seeing it until the day before the wedding when she flew down. But her dress was beautiful!

Post # 14
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh goodness! I’m so sorry! 

I was a “Pick your own dress” bride, and I just told them what designer, fabric, and color they had to be, and that I wanted them to be hemmed to just below knee length. 

I had no trouble with my girls at all. They all picked dresses that looked great on them, and I liked them *because* they looked great on them. 

It also helped that I liked almost all of the dresses that the designer carries, though…. 

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