Post # 1
So I’m writing this for all the waiting bees who are in the same position that I was a little over a year ago. I spent probably the entire last year that we were bf/gf obsessing over when he would ask, bringing it up constantly, shaking my left hand at him when “single ladies” came on the radio, etc. In other words, I’m not very subtle.
Now, though, reading your posts, I’m actually jealous that you’re in that position. You have EVERYTHING ahead of you. The excitement (granted it’s mixed with lots of anxiety and resentment sometimes, but it’s still anticipation), the proposal itself, the planning, the wedding day, the honeymoon…
So what’s my point? Basically that in the midst of all the angst and awfulness of the waiting, try to keep in mind that you are experiencing one of the most exciting times in your life and you have SO much to look forward to. If I could go back to those last few months before he proposed and relive it, I would do it in a second. That’s OBVIOUSLY easier to say after the fact, but just try to keep it in mind.
Sorry if this is TOTALLY unhelpful or offensive.
Basically I’m just pointing out that the grass is always greener on the other side, and I wish that I had all of the wedding stuff still to look forward to.
Post # 3
actually, it helps me!! i totally get what your saying..like reminicing on the first kiss almost.
i was married once before so maybe this is why i get it…and you are right. i mean, i love love love this guy, but when the newness is over, its over! dont get me wrong, the familiarity and bond only gets stronger (memories, getting thru hard times, etc)
but i think i am going to take your advice (if this is how you meant it) and just ENJOY my time with my guy.
thanks and happy engagement and marriage to you!
Post # 4
Thank you! This was helpful for me. I mean, it doesn’t mean that I don’t sometimes fluctuate into the resentment/anxiety (and thank you for acknowledging that reality, by the way)….but this did wake me up a bit to snap out of the depression and think of what I really enjoy about the relationship. And go for what I want. We ended up booking a trip for Labor Day weekend just now, and I intend to enjoy every minute of it 🙂
Post # 5
Sounds like you are having a little taste of the wedding blues. I have a feeling I will be in the same boat… I LOVE all of the planning and such. It’s such a bummer when it is all over.
Post # 6
Good point! I’m right in the thick of the waiting game, complete with the sudden bouts of moodiness and resentment, and I’m trying to hold on to the ‘excitement’ part of it and enjoy the anticipation as much as I can. The pre-engagement excitement and the proposal moment itself only happens once (I hope!), and I don’t want to just wish it over and done. Plus, as my bride-to-be friends tell me, once you’re engaged, you have to plan a wedding! From my perspective, that sounds great, but I know it’s not all butterflies and rainbows. 😉
Post # 7
Definitely not offensive. Not sure about helpful so much as I bounce between “I’m the luckiest woman in the world” and “Why won’t he make up his d*** mind?” – I appreciate my present status, but I’m looking forward to being ABLE to plan the next five years.
Thinking of which, I should go kiss and cuddle my fluffy-haired man. 😀
Post # 8
Thank you for posting this. I appreciate what you said and I am going to try to keep it in mind.