Post # 1
Hi Ladies, I just want to ask a bit of advice about a party I’ve been invited to. Basically a friend of mine is getting married a few weeks before me. She hasn’t invited many people, just her and his close family and a few of our friends. I’m not one of the people invited.
But now she’s decided to throw a post wedding party, and she’s invited all the people she couldn’t invite to the wedding. It’s a big old excuse to wear her dress again I think :p Her new husband will get another wear out of his suit, too. And I think the bridesmaids will be in their dresses as well.
I wouldn’t have a problem with this except she’s not providing food or anything to drink (though food and drink will be available to buy) and it’s also the friday night before my saturday wedding 🙁
Is it ok to ask her to change the date and suggest that she puts some food on?
Post # 3
I would just decline the invitation. It isn’t really ‘hosting’ a party if you’re not actually HOSTING anything like refreshments. I’m not going to anyone’s wedding, party, celebration, whatever and have to PURCHASE food & drinks. No way, no how.
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@pigglesworth: What does your friend think the purpose of this party is?!
I would decline, for obvious reason’s you’re going to be busy with your own wedding at that time!
Post # 5
@pigglesworth: That’s tricky. Did you invite her to your wedding? How good of friends are you? I probably wouldn’t mention the food thing- she and her husband may not have any money for that (although I agree it would be nice!). I don’t think you can straight out ask her to change the date of the party she is planning- they may have been planning it for a while and who knows how many people they have already passed the details to- but I think you can definintely say something like ‘i’d love to go but I have my rehearsal dinner that night so probably can’t make it’…she may have forgot your wedding is the next day and may offer to change the weekend! I think it really depends on how good of friends you are- if you are super close talking to her about it will be easier and she may want to change the date to accomodate you. If a lot of planning has gone into it it may not be possible.
But I don’t think I would mention the food thing. Maybe some friends could pitch in to provide a few appetizers in celebration!
If you aren’t that great of friends I would probably respectfully decline-
Post # 6
The night before your wedding, I would respectfully decline regardless of whether there would be food and drinks provided. In my experience, helping friends prepare for their own weddings, you do NOT have free time the night before.
Post # 7
I was engaged and had my wedding date and STDs sent out before she was engaged. They had to set an earlier date because his mum is terminally ill, so I don’t begrudge her setting her date early.
She was aware that she was invited to my wedding, and in fact checked that her and her fiance were invited before telling me that she couldn’t invite me due to numbers. Again, not bothered that I’m not invited, because it’s a small wedding.
I don’t know, I sort of just feel that this is just a very cheap second reception for those she didn’t want to pay for, and it’s been put the day before mine as some kind of statement. I don’t know what or why though, because we are very close friends.
I’m hoping that some more of our mutual friends will point out that its the day before my wedding, and decline. I’m really hoping that the date of my wedding has just slipped her mind and she’s not being awkward 🙁
Post # 8
That’s pretty crappy, scheduling her gift grab the day before your wedding. I hope she comes to her senses.
Post # 9
Just decline the invitation. I think she’s being rude anyway and gift grabby. You’re much too busy to go to her little “party.”
Post # 10
Yeah, I would just decline.
Post # 11
Honestly besides you and the wedding party, I don’t think it matters that it is the day before your wedding. A guest would be able to easily attend both events.
It is not polite to point out others’ faux pas. Though I do agree with you that it is very off putting to have a second reception where no food or drink is provided. It really screams “Gimme gifts”.
Just decline the invite.
Post # 12
You should just decline the invite. I woulnd’t bring up the food thing unless she asks for your advice or opinion.
Post # 13
Just decline. Sounds a little gift grabby, not to mention tacky.